Rough Day

For most of the morning, I was alone in the office - so alone. My X-knife was right there, and I wanted to use it. I just couldn't stop staring at it.I tried to put it away, but I stared at the place where I put it. I finally had to use it - just a little, and that was enough. But all day long, I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was hard - so hard. I don't know how long I can hold off...

(((((((((((((((4 U)))))))))))))))))))) It can be so hard to fight that urge, can't it? I hope you can find some other ways of coping. And if not, we'll all still love you! Heaven knows we've been there, too. A lot of people on this site have some great ideas for coping. You could read through some of those ideas, and see if any work for you. Maybe you could brainstorm a list of things that you could/would do instead of cutting. If you want to, you can post it and maybe some of us can come up with some more ideas to add.

Good luck! I'm hoping for you!!!

SweetCrusader (Angela)

"Blessed be the cracked, for they let in the light"
-Author Unknown

SC, thanks for being so understanding. Lots of people shrink away from me when they hear that I SI. Thanks for accepting me. I've been looking and now I have some coping methods. They don't all work all the time. I just have to try to find the one that works at that particular moment. Sometimes i fail :0(.

(((((((((((((((((((((SC)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I won't ever shrink away from you because of si. I think it's ridiculous how people have stigmatized that. I understand that it seems scary and strange to a person who's never done it, but why don't people just try to understand first, before condemning us or assuming that they know our reasons? I know what you're talking about, with people shrinking away or being uncomfortable talking about it. But here on this forum, we all know what it's like and you are welcome to share your feelings here, and your own personal struggle with si. Hugs 2 U if it's ok!

SweetCrusader

"Blessed be the cracked, for they let in the light"
-Author Unknown

shrinking away is not a good thing...

I used to SI a lot..
I will tell you it has taken a great deal of self control not to do it for over 15 years.. the worse thing that happens to me now are my nightmares.. I am dead asleep and I feel like I am awake, and I see myself sitting where I always used to SI, out in the middle of the woods, where no one can find me.. and I have the one knife my brother bought me, and that is the only 0ne I ever used. The one I had last night was the worst yet.. I could actually feel it in my hands..

So yes, I can understnad others wanting to run from you. I was in highschool when I SI'd and I had no freinds at that point in my life, and I have very few 3d friends that I can say are "true" friends..

<font color=purple>
The light is around me now
I see it so clearly now
I feel him in my heart
Lord God has set me free.
Let me rejoice in you
Let me be free
I love the lord God.
I have been Saved by your Grace and love today...04/11/04

Hang in there ((((((((((((((((((SS))))))))))))))))))

Take care,
Fuzzy