[moonrise]

because it's forcing me to admit I'm s/i again.

Well, today I'm drinking instead. I don't have a clue which is less destructive. I'm not much of a drinker, but it takes the edge off. I s/i 4 times w/i the past week, after not for months. I fessed up to T, who wasn't happy. I'm worried she'll drop me. She asks about the s/i but not drinking.

I just want to hold off for a little longer. I don't want to go backwards. I don't want to cut, to burn. I'm just so sad.

Hello, moonrise. Recognize you are fighting a war. A battle was lost, but there are more to fight. Regroup and start anew. Good luck.

[stephiifaye92]

Originally Posted by moonrise

because it's forcing me to admit I'm s/i again.

Well, today I'm drinking instead. I don't have a clue which is less destructive. I'm not much of a drinker, but it takes the edge off. I s/i 4 times w/i the past week, after not for months. I fessed up to T, who wasn't happy. I'm worried she'll drop me. She asks about the s/i but not drinking.

I just want to hold off for a little longer. I don't want to go backwards. I don't want to cut, to burn. I'm just so sad.

I know how it feels. Not being at the therapist, cause I've never had one. But to have people disappointed in you for relapsing over this. But one of the big things is, even though it sucks to do it, you admitted you have done it again. That takes a lot of strength that you probably dont award as you should.
What I do, is just take every day as it goes. Try to distract yourself as much as possible...even nap if you have to, because I know its something I do. If theres a day when I'm too depressed to do much, I just try and nap so I dont feel the urge to s/i again. Try to recognize every little good thing as it is, and try basing your day on those little things. Theyre what matter most. :]

Hope I helped, even a little

[mlpHolmes]

Hi Moonrise, Byzantine, & Stephii!

I am sorry you are suffering. I'm hoping this may help, in the Depression Forum,at the top it says Top Online Resources, click on that plz, scroll down slowly to ~#6 there is a letter Titled "Just For Today". When I have a relapse or a bad day. I *LIVE* this "Just For Today" it gets me out from under the covers, live a basic life that even depressed I can handle. Plz
Download:

http://www.nhal-anon.org/Just4Today.html

Season's Blessings,
Holmes

[BlueMoon6]

You can do this moonrise. I havent read your other posts today, but there must be something going on. How are you feeling?

You deserve to take good, gentle care of yourself and to be safe. Try to give yourself a safe evening and nurture that part of you that you want to hurt

[moonrise]

Originally Posted by BlueMoon6

You can do this moonrise. I havent read your other posts today, but there must be something going on. How are you feeling?

You deserve to take good, gentle care of yourself and to be safe. Try to give yourself a safe evening and nurture that part of you that you want to hurt

I don't know what's going on. I feel like a switch has flipped, and I'm somewhere I really don't want to be. I feel out of control, like nothing really matters anymore. Usually I can get myself out of this funk in hours, but it's been going on since Monday.

The other day for the first time ever, I got drunk while my daughter was around. She didn't see me drink, and I just told her I was not feeling good. She was busy playing, but I feel awful. But I didn't cut. I didn't burn.

One day at a time. Today I can do it.

[Fuzzybear]