[xXWhyXx]

( Sorry, I know I have been hogging the forums lately... /: )

Well... My friend saw my cuts today and said "Oh my god are you okay?!" And I put on that sickly sweet smile and said "Oh, that's just a cut that I got in Home Ec." She said Okay and we continued to talk. We somehow got into a conversation about being emo. And she asked me "Are you emo?" I said no and we continued joking around. Of course the conversation had been fake. The only fake thing about it was me answering her questions and joking around. And on this inside I wanted to yell at her "I AM NOT OKAY, I HAVEN'T BEEN OKAY FOR A LONG TIME!!! THESE CUTS WERE MADE BY ME AND I CAN'T STOP CUTTING MYSELF, HOW CAN YOU BE SO OBLIVIOUS TO EVERYTHING!?!?!" But I can't do that. She will ditch me, abandon me, leave me. Forever. My only real friend. I want to cut myself so badly, and I told my brother and he told me that it was idiotic of me to be depressed and how cutting is only for stupid emos who have no life whatsoever. I wanted to punch him, but he is 4 years older than me and in high school. Can't do that without him pummeling me till I am dead. /: *sigh* I can't take this anymore!!!!! Cutting myself hurts, but it works and my brother will just hurt me more and my friend will ask until the world comes crashing down on me. Cutting myself is the only way to keep me from committing suicide.

[desperate&disturbed]

Originally Posted by xXWhyXx

( Sorry, I know I have been hogging the forums lately... /: )

Well... My friend saw my cuts today and said "Oh my god are you okay?!" And I put on that sickly sweet smile and said "Oh, that's just a cut that I got in Home Ec." She said Okay and we continued to talk. We somehow got into a conversation about being emo. And she asked me "Are you emo?" I said no and we continued joking around. Of course the conversation had been fake. The only fake thing about it was me answering her questions and joking around. And on this inside I wanted to yell at her "I AM NOT OKAY, I HAVEN'T BEEN OKAY FOR A LONG TIME!!! THESE CUTS WERE MADE BY ME AND I CAN'T STOP CUTTING MYSELF, HOW CAN YOU BE SO OBLIVIOUS TO EVERYTHING!?!?!" But I can't do that. She will ditch me, abandon me, leave me. Forever. My only real friend. I want to cut myself so badly, and I told my brother and he told me that it was idiotic of me to be depressed and how cutting is only for stupid emos who have no life whatsoever. I wanted to punch him, but he is 4 years older than me and in high school. Can't do that without him pummeling me till I am dead. /: *sigh* I can't take this anymore!!!!! Cutting myself hurts, but it works and my brother will just hurt me more and my friend will ask until the world comes crashing down on me. Cutting myself is the only way to keep me from committing suicide.

first off you are not hogging the forums, this is here for you to talk is much as you need to. secondly its hard to talk about it! if she is a true friend she will understand and help but only if you let her. im sorry but your brother is a legit *********. if i ever heard someone say that i don't care how big they are they would not ever say it again. cutting can be helpful. id be a hypocrite to say stop. but if its really the only way to stop you from commiting suicide its time to talk to an adult. its hard but whats the worst that can happen. please take care. if anything happens to you it would be a tremendous loss, your life is very valuable and please keep it safe.

[justalittleparanoid]

ok, well i have lost alot of myfriends to cutting. and so it might happen. i see ur reaching out for help from sombody. if u cut in a place where it was bound to show. i understand that u want to cut. i just hope u chose not to. u hit a wrong nerve and bam. si is called i think parasuicide. its what ur doing to keep urself from dying. u have to think of this tho. is it fair to hide this much hurt from people u care about? u seem depressed do something else that isnt cutting. take an ice cube and rub it over where u want to cut. it pinches and feels like u are but ur not hurting urself in anyway. ur pretty new at this so are u even sure this is what u want. to be in pain the rest of how ever long it takes u to stop. trust me. once u start right away ur going to want to stop

[Sannah]

WHy, this kind of info is for the big boys and girls, not friends and siblings who are not trained. This is why a therapist is SSSOOOOOO important. And you aren't hogging the forum! It is here for your use.

[Bill3]

xXWhyXx, I'm so sorry for your pain, hopelessness and despair.

Think about who is the most admirable and trusted adult that you know. Then please go speak to that person--or to a guidance counselor.