[kaihigdontog]

i need to cut so bad. my life has turned to sh;; every thang i try has falled. my life is a waste of space.i can now longer win i want to die.i want to ask for help but i can not with out being sent to the hosbital again. what do you do one you lose no matter what you do. why do i even try?

[Hunny]

Kaihigdontog:

You are not!!! a waste of space nor is your life...because I need you.

Thank you for coming to chat today and helping all of us there get some perspective on life.

You are valued and needed.

Hunny

[kaihigdontog]

my life is a waste. i can do nothing right. i need to jest die and get it over with. there is nothing left that wont go on without me there. this world dont need me and i am redy to leav it to what may be

[Sannah]

I hate that word failure. A person runs into a roadblock and they get discouraged and quit, usually because of old messages playing in their head which were put there by people with a lot of problems. Don't quit Kai. Do you want to talk in detail about what is going on? So is going to the hospital really bad?

[kaihigdontog]

Originally Posted by Sannah

I hate that word failure. A person runs into a roadblock and they get discouraged and quit, usually because of old messages playing in their head which were put there by people with a lot of problems. Don't quit Kai. Do you want to talk in detail about what is going on? So is going to the hospital really bad?

yes it is that bad it makes every thing worsh. i have been fighting for so meanly years i have lost track of what i am fighting for. there is nothing that is worth all this**** . i ant even worth enought as a person to be alowed a safe place to stay. i am worthless no one wants me around. i am like a plage every thing i get close to is destroyed.

[Sannah]

Kai, I'm really sorry that you feel that way about yourself. I can just imagine how you learned these things as a child. Some adults were messing up I'm sure. Who can you talk to IRL right now? Who can you go to to get help?

[kaihigdontog]

there is no one. i have no one left.

[Sannah]

How about a helping professional?

[WePow]

kai .... i am so sorry that you are in this place .... all I can say is that i understand too well exactly what you are saying.... too many years of too much pain .... and all that you said...

something has to be out there though? maybe? i was thinking yesterday it may be time to get selfish and try to find something that makes me happy that is just for me... is there anything like that for you yet?

Wish I could help more... but same boat right now... something has to be there for us though... somehow... somewhere?

[LostSavant]

Please I hope you believe us, D and I feel the same also. That no matter what we try to do we just keep getting kicked down
even more. But I would really like to thank you for being there for us, and I hope we are able somehow to return the favor unto you sometime. We care how you feel.

What one thing could you do for yourself today that would be a positive in your life, kaihigdontog?

kai....there is love in my heart for you....i worry for you alot and i know your life will improve.be strong hun...stay strong.i understand your pain.i feel the pain.our situations are different but the same i was where you are for a long time.we just don't know when things will turn the corner.but they do.you have friends here..i can speak for myself.my heart would ache if something happened to you.you are a good soul....with a purpose.you have a loving heart.it is awful the way things have occurred in your life.i normally would tell my story to let you know i can relate.i can relate.to tell you more would just be a trigger.i think about you all the time.i wish i had a magic fix.i don't,but i know ill come up with something.i know you must think ...she doesn't really care .i do.maybe its because my youth was so much like yours or perhaps it is because i have a son in a situation like yours,whatever the reason...i feel a connection and a sadness that these circumstances are in your life.i am so far from you and i feel helpless from here.be strong and know with a certainty that your life will get better and you will then have the opportunity to help another....from a place in your heart that understands your fellow man.

oh......Kai Kai.......i have never met you in real life.....but strangely....you mean so much to me already.I struggle in many of the same ways that you do.I know you think that since my circumstances are different.....I couldn't possibly understand how you feel.....I do....I have been in your exact circumstances....and in my head....I continue to feel that turmoil.I can say that from where I sit....I believe with all my heart and soul....you are valuable ....TO ME.....and I believe things will improve...you help my spirit and I know you have helped others in their times of need.A man is not what he owns....but his heart.The things you feel you have done in life that you regret were not within your control...and Kai I guarantee you I have done things in my life I wish I could erase.I cannot.I must look at each new day as if it were the ONLY day in history....and live it as best I am able on that day.because I cannot relive any of my yesterdays.I am sure that you realize that there has never been a perfect human.not one.we fail...pick ourselves up ...dust ourselves off...and go forward.We have awful periods of time and then things improve...and Kai,....things will indeed improve.I have been in some hellish situations.I do not tell you of them because you are on shaky ground ....so,I try to be uplifting....but darling young man......I for one believe you are a loving soul...traveling through some very difficult points in life....and I say...take each day as a new piece of clay and mold it into ....a smile that may impact someone...or hold a door open for an old lady or pet a lonely dog.....anything...everything ....take loving care of you so you have a reserve to pull a kindness from.This is what makes a human valuable.The kindness he is brave enough to share.You are kind.no less good than me or ANYONE ELSE.(((((((((((((((((((((DARLING KAI KAI)))))))))))))))))

I love you KaiKai

[thine_self_untrue]

(((((((((((((Kai)))))))))))) Please, hold on.