[purpledragon51174]

I am concerned for my daughter. She as of yet is not a cutter but I think she is going in a direction that she could be. at the moment she is taking her nails and digging in to her arms and legs and face. she looks terrible and I dont know what to do to help her. I take her to therepy and all they want to do is medicate more. she is on lexipro, seriquil,and wellbutrin already. I see that most of the posts here are from cutters themselves did any of you start out like this? If so is there any advice on what I should do to prevent my daughter from becoming a cutter or worse a suicidal victim.sHE IS 12 going on 13. Her birth mother left when she was 2 and then again at 6. she and her sister was molested while down with thier mother on visitation. She has already started her monthly visitor. she doesnt smile much anymore and I am afraid for her. if the is any help then I beg for it.

[jen29]

purpledragon,

I think you are doing the right thing by taking her to therapy. Hopefully she is talking in there and that together they can work on her issues.

Just being there for her and showing how much you care can be the best thing, in my eyes anyways, that you can do for her right now. Making sure she knows you are there to talk to if she chooses but isn't being forced is another thing I can think of.

Keeping an eye on things and reporting to the therapist may also help the therapist as well. I guess am not so sure if this is at all good advise, but when i was that age I wish my mom would have been there for me like this. I started at the age of 15 and was irrate when she found out. I think you are being a great mom just by standing by her side and trying to get her help. Keep up the good work and keep us posted.

Hugs,
Jen

[Trippin2.0]

I WISH I HAD A MOM LIKE YOU...

Mine's not a bad 1, but at age 25, she still thinks I'm melodramatic and seeking attention! or wait these are are her best descriptions: "mental illness is an excuse for bad behaviour" AND (if they're serious) "mental illness is a form of demonic posession"
Puleez, like I would choose THIS, any of this...

ANYWAY, what I actually wanted to say is:

She's lucky to have you

Please just keep an eye on her, and reassure her that you are there for her regardless...

You're a remarkable woman God Bless you

[bluegirl...?]

((( purple dragon )))

im so proud that you're there for your daughter! she is truely lucky to have you

my own mom doesnt even have the slightest idea about me - she thinks im a psycho but never believes i'd cut - and she doesnt even care enough to try and help because she believe's cutting is stupid and for freaks.. whatever :rollseyes:

i myself only have intentionally scratched myself when i couldnt get to scissors/blade/razor and when im near people.. unfortunately, when i do that, i scar more easily (while my scars from cutting just a week ago are fading and almost gone, the ones from scratching almost a year ago are still on my arm to stay)... but that could just be me, either way having your daughter see a T is good because *something* must be up.

••super duper good luck to you and your daughter and i hope you can keep us posted with whats going on

>>bluegirl

[bachir]

i'm so thankful to hear that you're there for your daughter. she's definately not had an easy go of things. speaking from personal experience (i was adopted) the abandonment issue was HUGE for me when i was her age. i don't mean to sound like i'm minimizing the molestation issue by any means cause i'm not at all. (i went through that by her age as well) it's just the abandonment issue strikes the very core of the individual who's gone through this.

i would like to encourage you to get the book called "The Primal Wound" by nancy newton verrier ph.d. i would encourage you to read it first then give it to your daughter to read. it spells EVERYTHING about the abandonment issue. it's an incredibly validating book. it's a very easy read as well. as well as quite fascinating. i know it helped me immensely to begin to overcome my issue with it.

it will always be an issue for me i'm sure, but it doesn't carry quite the same impact it once did since i read the book. the issue is hard for one to speak about since it came at a time before we had words to express ourselves. i'd encourage very strongly this book for anyone with this issue. it's simply amazing.

it's awesome that you're there for her, and concerned for her well being. many don't have or didn't have such a good support system at that time in their lives. even though she may fight what you're doing for her at times i'm sure later she will find the appreciation for your efforts and caring. i'm sure you won't, but i'd encourage you not to give up on her. i know it can be an exhausting process.

the way she is choosing to act out right now i would also like to encourage you to take this up with her t. these are apparent warning signs that something is definately up with her. (obviously) i could carry on and on here, but i'll stop for now. i hope the very best for you and your daughter. it'll be a long journey, but the destination is a beautiful place. safe travels, and take care.

[purpledragon51174]

Originally Posted by somewhere

i'm so thankful to hear that you're there for your daughter. she's definately not had an easy go of things. speaking from personal experience (i was adopted) the abandonment issue was HUGE for me when i was her age. i don't mean to sound like i'm minimizing the molestation issue by any means cause i'm not at all. (i went through that by her age as well) it's just the abandonment issue strikes the very core of the individual who's gone through this.

i would like to encourage you to get the book called "The Primal Wound" by nancy newton verrier ph.d. i would encourage you to read it first then give it to your daughter to read. it spells EVERYTHING about the abandonment issue. it's an incredibly validating book. it's a very easy read as well. as well as quite fascinating. i know it helped me immensely to begin to overcome my issue with it.

it will always be an issue for me i'm sure, but it doesn't carry quite the same impact it once did since i read the book. the issue is hard for one to speak about since it came at a time before we had words to express ourselves. i'd encourage very strongly this book for anyone with this issue. it's simply amazing.

it's awesome that you're there for her, and concerned for her well being. many don't have or didn't have such a good support system at that time in their lives. even though she may fight what you're doing for her at times i'm sure later she will find the appreciation for your efforts and caring. i'm sure you won't, but i'd encourage you not to give up on her. i know it can be an exhausting process.

the way she is choosing to act out right now i would also like to encourage you to take this up with her t. these are apparent warning signs that something is definately up with her. (obviously) i could carry on and on here, but i'll stop for now. i hope the very best for you and your daughter. it'll be a long journey, but the destination is a beautiful place. safe travels, and take care.

Wow, I am sorry you have gone through that, and things are starting to click- Her mom abandoned her when she was young and I am dad doing the best I can. She has a good step-mom but they battle a lot my daughter pushes every button she can with my wife, I feel its a trust issue. I will check out that book thanks again for the advise

[purpledragon51174]

for clarification purposes Im dad, her mom is most of the issue I believe, she took off on her at a young age now she sees her six weeks a year.

[purpledragon51174]

Her mom is the biggest issue, she took off on her at a young age, Im just dad doing the best I can, I will update how things go and wish you all the best and wish you had the support you need.

[jpalmer71]

My daughter started SI behavior at the age of 12. I remember seeing her injuries for the first time, hundreds of cuts. I never knew until a friend of hers told a counselor at school. Initially, she pushed her dad and I away and refused help. It's been 2 1/2 years and 8 hospitalizations. We've tried a dozen combinations of different medications. She is currently doing well and now sees us as her biggest advocates.

The best advise I can give is to keep pushing for the help she needs. Question everything the doctors and social workers suggest. Most psychiatrists and social workers use a method of trial and error when treating patients. Make sure that there is justification for the treatment they recommend and be sure to ask what kind of result they expect. Remember, you know your daughter better than anyone else. Keep a journal of what's happening, especially medications and how they are affecting her. Most importantly, be there for her. Learn to listen without responding with words but with just a hug or holding her hand.

I wish you the best of luck, it's not an easy road to travel.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by purpledragon51174

for clarification purposes Im dad, her mom is most of the issue I believe, she took off on her at a young age now she sees her six weeks a year.

MY APOLOGIES FOR ASSUMING YOU WERE A WOMAN!!!

I'm having a terrible time trying to concentrate...

You're a remarkable MAN, I used to have remarkable men in my life, Sadly my eldest brother and dad both passed away recently...

Anyway, the point is, every little girl needs a man like you in her life!

Kudos to you for being the oh sO cliche'd superhero daddy!!!!

I hope she starts her journey of recovery VERY sOOn