[everyrose]

ive been trying to cut back on my acts of self harming.. But it just doesnt seem worth having to fight back the need.. Which to me seems stronger than i am. I try the stuff you guys say to but NOTHING has yet to help me.. And i cant hold myself back forever, seems like today would have been my break down day.. But my brother broke the lamp and it cut me on its own and i loved it, now i cant stop touching it.
this sounds nothing like me, but it is me, the me i hide. And im sick of hiding it. I need help. I want to be the me i use to be. It just seems impossible these days. I let this sick twisted way of relief take over me.. Someone see me out of it, please.. Or show me some light outa this dark twisted way of life.

[Sannah]

Rose, are you in therapy? Stopping SI requires working through the reasons that you do it and you need therapy to do this.

[everyrose]

sannah,
no im not in therapy. Im to scared to tell my mom about it.

[Mike_J]

SI is a serious addiction, you need to tell someone, is there someone at school you can talk to if you can't tell your mother? What about your family doctor, is that someone you could talk to?

Therapy would really help, at least it helped me a TON.

[everyrose]

well, i dont really have noone to talk to at school..
and i dont have a family doctor.
and im not to sure im ready to talk to a therapist.. But i knoow i NEED to.. And i NEED it.

[Sannah]

Can you just tell your mom that you want a therapist?

[everyrose]

no. Life isnt that simple..

[Sannah]

Why can't you tell your mom this?

[WePow]

everyrose... I hope you can find someone safe to talk with about this in person. You can post to SI help groups and that may help. But talking to a therapist about this is really something you need to do. Self Harm comes because there is something poison on the inside - some pain - something wrong and hurt and bleeding - and it needs to be addressed. If a person wrecks a car and breaks a leg, everyone can see it and they take them to the doctor. But when we get our hearts and minds and souls deeply wounded, others can't see it. So we tend to SI in a subconscious effort to SHOW the conscious self that there is trouble deep inside.

You have to find a way to give your true self a voice that can be heard - without causing your body harm.

[everyrose]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Why can't you tell your mom this?

i cant tell my mom because she already worries about everyone else, and ill just add to her stress.. She is sick on top of that so i hold it in.

[Sannah]

And if you continue to not be better this is another problem for your mom. If you get a therapist you will get better which is better for your mom. If you are better you might even be able to help your mom more.