I miss it so bad

TRIGGER

I miss it soooo bad. It's been 22 days and it feels like I'm dying. Like someone took my heart out and is stomping on it in front of me. I feel like the biggest part of me was taken from me...by no one but myself. I want to feel accomplished so badly. Just 31 days. I can't go on living like this. I can barely hold myself together through school. I need it. It is what I thrive off of...what I live off of. I can't do this. Why won't the pain go away.

I know how you feel. I can almost taste it, myself. It's been a couple months for me and I could do it so easily. People say it gets better the less you do it, but it's always the first thing you turn to when things get bad.

OK FOLKS time to change your thoughts AWAY from this... but first, look at the words you are using! ((((hugs))))) Remember the lists that were made earlier this year (and maybe in a sticky note?) how to prevent or at least delay delay delay any of these behaviors???

You don't MISS IT you miss the coping mechanism... and need to find the other that works for you too... you don't want the pain, but remember the pain and suffering and all the bad stuff you aren't recalling right now, when you do harm to yourself... You've done good jobs already! Keep on!

Please try and do THOUGHT STOPPING! When you begin to feel this way, and your thoughts lean towards this say STOP! to yourself say LATER or something else to end this avenue. (((((HUGS))))) Replace these thoughts with something else... you don't deserve to harm yourself any more, you don't need to injure yourself for anything more you are going through.. you can get through this.. you CAN be strong... it takes strong actions to take CARE OF YOURSELF! Please stay safe We here at PC want you to win this battle! ((((ALL OF YOU NEEDING HUGS))))))

I know how you feel. I miss it too.

Sky, thanks for looking out for us here. It feels nice that you care.

(((((((((ickydog)))))))))))

I understand how you're feeling. Sometimes I miss it too, or the thrill of it or something about it, I'm not sure what. What specifically about it do you miss? I wonder if you could find a healthy way to get that. Like, maybe for me I wonder if flying down the hill as fast as I can go on my bike might replace that thrill. I'm hoping (after 17 days here) that I actually can finally give it up. Last time, after I came back to myself over a week later and it was just a memory, I felt so stupid about it. That hasn't happened before. It's like it was somebody else not me who wanted to do stuff like that to me, and I can't believe I wanted to do that.

I sure hope that it gets easier for you.