[Christine001]

Hi self harm getting worse, not sure I want to control it, so alone so very alone. drinking too. as I cant die due to kids I have string urges to hurt myself. I envy everyone, I just want to disapear. maybe I will get some support in a few weeks when I go to an assessment but dont hold out much hope. Hope I have no hope, sorry for the self pitying. Binging tonight and picking my toe nails until they bleed, no si as yet but in uk its early yet. thanks for reading x

[puzzclar]

Sounds like you're having a bad day, to put it in a nice way. You may feel alone now, but there are those of us on here that understand where you are coming from, and we are hear to listen to your fustrations. I for one, do the si to not do much worse things but, it's still not good for anyone. It's good that you have your kids, you are valuabale, and we all want you to do well in life. So it sounds like support will maybe happen but, for some of us here this is the support that is needed, the support of those going through it. We are all here to help in anyway that we can. If you need to talk, just PM me and we can arrange a time that is good for both of us. But don't worry this is life, we get back only what we put into life. If we want to live then we start to do the things that will help us, but if we want something else then, the result is not good.

Just keep in mind that the things that you mentioned are SI, and I hope the assessment goes well, Keep us posted. and remember things will get better, if you try to make them get better.

[Christine001]

Had a bad night, wanted to be self destructive, si x2 need to see lots of blood, also got a hangover, not sure why I am posting, just to not feel alone I guess, yes know the toe thing is si too, god they hurt. just need to hold on a while longer. I am too old for this si, to all you young ones out there please try to seek help. Being so self destructive, feeling so much pain is not what anyone deserves xx

[Sannah]

Christine, I am sorry that you are in such distress. Do you have anyone IRL that you can reach out to for support? I am so glad that you are getting an assessment. Please continue to keep us posted.

[Christine001]

Sannah you are lovely to be bothered.
Shame stops me from telling anyone, I think I am now addicted and seem to want to do more damage each time and take more risks. today At first i was really exhilarated but now i am shocked at what I am doing. no one I can talk to, see pdoc on weds but not sure I can tell him. assessment at personality disorder service i will try to tell them as hopefully they can help me find somehow to replace these urges, which like i say are getting stronger and daily.

[Sannah]

Christine, I am not bothered at all. I see in you a person who needs support and someone to care and you deserve my support. Please tell your pdoc where you are at with all of this (and the assessment folks too)? The urges decrease when you relieve the pressure of what you are holding inside by talking about it. Please continue to keep me posted on how you are doing?

[Christine001]

whoops i did it again, well 10 times maybe more, my t says I am laughing at things that would make other people upset, well yeah!

[Sannah]

[puzzclar]

It makes me wonder with your comment about laughing... but that's not the big issue here. It's the fact that your SI is getting worse. And I wonder if there is something else you can reach for when you want to SI, Have you ever tried Yoga?? It helps to bring the focus back in on yourself and what you feel. Or at least breath when you have the urges, and try to resist. I know it's hard, it took me a while to get to where I am now, but Yoga really helped me. and I wonder if it will help you.

Just a thought