[Rapunzel]

does getting in a car wreck due to dissociating and not noticing a stop sign and refusing medical attention when my teeth went all the way through my lip count?

just wondering

The dissociating would only count as Self injury if you on purpose with the intent of hurting yourself went into your mental safe place (dissociated) which would result in your not being aware of the sign.

If you refused treatment because you wanted to feel the pain, then yes refusing treatment can be considered self harm because you are not taking care of yourself which is doing more damage (possible infection and blood loss) to yourself.

Self injury is anything a person does with the specific intent of causing pain or harm to themselves

[silver_queen]

((((((((((((((( Rap )))))))))))))))))

That sounds scary . I hope you're ok now.

[Rapunzel]

((((((((Silver))))))))))

Still feeling really stupid and having no car. Someone offered to let me borrow a car, and that scares me. I'm not sure I should be driving.

Someone asked me if I was scared, andI don't remember being scared. I don't think I was there at the time of the accident. Just mad at myself and upset about the stuff that got to me in the first place and frustrated that I was so stupid.

An officer drove me home. I had thought about walking to the ER, which was not far from where I crashed, but didn't need an ambulance bill so wouldn't let them take me. If the officer had offerred to drop me off at the ER I would have said ok. But he offerred a ride home instead. And after I was home I looked in the mirror and saw how bad it was, and I wasn't sure it would heal by itself, and I also hadn't had a tetanus shot in 20 years. Husband kept playing his game on the computer for an hour and a half before deciding to call someone after midnight and ask them to take me to the ER. I couldn't ask anyone for help. I didn't deserve any help.

Thanks for the hugs. Thanks, myself, for your reply also.

[cms39]

I'm so sorry you had such a bad night. Give yourself a nice hot bath or special treat. Take care of yourself.

[Rapunzel]

Thank-you for replying to this and being concerned about me. We did get a car, and I like that it gets really good gas mileage. Maybe if I can get time off work I'll be able to go and see T more often. I wanted something like this for commuting to school too.

People keep telling me to take care of myself and things like that though, and that one seems to be beyond me. I have this continuous drive to run myself into the ground, and I don't know if I can stop, even after a lecture from T saying that it isn't okay with her for me to keep getting hurt, letting people hurt me, etc. Something is telling me that I should just stop telling her about it when I do.

The last couple of weeks were intense, and I've been feeling a little better now, so I do hope I can start going forward again now, or at least stop going backwards.

oh my gosh. please take care of yourself. I'm so sorry about your accident. HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSS... Stay safe.

[wisewoman]

Wendy, don't stop telling your t when you si. I am not doing anything to self injure. However, I recently realized that I am always punishing myself in other ways. Too many to explain and too complicated but we have to believe we are worthy of our own good care.

[Rapunzel]

I have the impression that she doesn't really want me to tell her. But I haven't cut since sometime in August, and haven't wanted to all that much. It's all the other stuff - like the car wreck and still working at a job where I'm not appreciated, and getting assaulted by one of the girls there. Somehow I contribute to all of those things, so I don't have a right to complain about them. And running myself into the ground. I don't feel like I deserve to eat, and feel guilty if I give in to eating something, or to sleep enough or to take a bath if I did yesterday. And I ought to be able to just work all the time, and still get everything done at home and spend time with the kids and do all the things I'm supposed to do, and be available here all the time (I thought that I was doing okay here but I'm starting to develop guilt trips about that too in response to a situation I'm not supposed to talk about). I don't feel like I'm worth taking care of.

I'm picking up two shifts this week for other people, and there are two shifts that I need off, and nobody will take them. One I need off because I don't have time to sleep next week and need to present at inservice for my other job, and the other one I need off in order to go and see T. I've only seen her four times ever, and have been working with her for a year. But it seems like I'm asking too much. I'm to the point where I wake up feeling like crying if it's a day that I have to go to that job, even if I don't have to go until 3 p.m. or even 10:30 p.m. like today. I'm tempted to tell them I quit, and then it's their problem to get somebody to cover those shifts, but I can't afford to and also don't want to abandon the girls.

[Rapunzel]

((((((((Esther))))))))))
Thanks. I hope you are staying safe and taking care of yourself as well.

[wisewoman]

Hmmm. I think we are sisters. Please be well. Do ONE thing to take care of yourself. Peace to you.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((((((((((Wendy)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Love,
Your fuzzy sis

[Rapunzel]

Ok, I'll take a hot bath before I go to bed so that I can go back to work again. I worked graveyard last night and it was so cold in that house and I was forbidden to tamper with the thermostat - rising heating costs, you know. Brrrr. I vote we ban winter. All in favor?

So what's your one thing, huh?

[Rapunzel]

(((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))

How did you know I was here right now?

[Fuzzybear]

I didn't until you posted

ggrrrrrrrowly hugs
me