[RockyForLife]

I used to cut because it was the one way that I could actually control something in my life. Now, I'm not so sure. When I think about it, I realize that IT controls ME. I dress to hide the scars. I lie to avoid the questions. And I realized it wasn't worth it. But I still cannot get myself to quit. I managed not to for a while... But of course I had a relapse. And I can't stop.

So my question is... Has anyone ever been truly able to stop here?

[Sannah]

I've never SI'd so I can't answer your question but I was wondering if you are in therapy because fixing your issues is how you eventually stop SI ing. SI is a coping mechanism and if you fix your issues you no longer have to cope you live instead.

[hrdcoreathlete]

Yes, it is very possible as long as you allow yourself to do so. It is important to realize that it controls you, rather than you controlling it...THAT IS HUGE!. I think it is often times easier to dress to hide, and lie to redirect peoples questions and concerns...but it is not the only way out. There is a way out, and that light is closer than you think!
I still have thoughts, but it has become easier to avoid them. If you want you can PM me.

[Abby]

Well I haven't yet but I do believe it is possible and I know that I will stop. I cannot see myself living like this for the rest of my life!

I know what you mean about cutting being about control. I cut to stay in control a lot of the time. But yeh sometimes I think 'at what cost?' because I do keep going but I am limited in so many areas, not least in my honesty. I feel I do live a big lie sometimes.

But at the same time I don't believe in thinking of SH as an external component, an 'IT'. I understand what you mean and I don't mean to sound like the devils advocate, but *I* decide to cut, it is always my choice. Sometimes, sure, it feels like the only choice, but maybe it will help if you see SH as a choice and not as something that is being forced upon you?

[kandrewsx]

I used to cut myself often and I managed to stop. I didn't wanna kill myself but one day I cut a bit to deep and it terrified me so from then on I stopped. It was hard, but its not impossible! You'll make it one day, chin up x x

[RockyForLife]

@sannah, i never did, but i used to get a lot of support from a close friend and boyfriend, the friend moved away, and i broke up with my boyfriend. everyone else i know cuts themselves... so we obviously can't help each other without being hypocritical.

and yes, i was able to stop for half a year with the help of those two people, so i realize it's possible... but i don't know if it is on my own... you know?

[Sannah]

Sounds like you need to find healthier people to be around.

[mistyeyed]

Originally Posted by RockyForLife

I used to cut because it was the one way that I could actually control something in my life. Now, I'm not so sure. When I think about it, I realize that IT controls ME. I dress to hide the scars. I lie to avoid the questions. And I realized it wasn't worth it. But I still cannot get myself to quit. I managed not to for a while... But of course I had a relapse. And I can't stop.

So my question is... Has anyone ever been truly able to stop here?

I WISH. I cut up my legs pretty bad the other night and the back part of my arm near my elbow and my wrist (superficial, I didn't hit a vein and never had the balls to do it) I was in such a spiral. Now I look rediculous but atleast it's winter.

We're all playing a dangerous game with this compulsion..and it is a compulsion I can't stop it anymore than I can stop my depression