Losing Control?

I used to cut because it was the one way that I could actually control something in my life. Now, I'm not so sure. When I think about it, I realize that IT controls ME. I dress to hide the scars. I lie to avoid the questions. And I realized it wasn't worth it. But I still cannot get myself to quit. I managed not to for a while... But of course I had a relapse. And I can't stop.

So my question is... Has anyone ever been truly able to stop here?

I've never SI'd so I can't answer your question but I was wondering if you are in therapy because fixing your issues is how you eventually stop SI ing. SI is a coping mechanism and if you fix your issues you no longer have to cope you live instead.

Yes, it is very possible as long as you allow yourself to do so. It is important to realize that it controls you, rather than you controlling it...THAT IS HUGE!. I think it is often times easier to dress to hide, and lie to redirect peoples questions and concerns...but it is not the only way out. There is a way out, and that light is closer than you think!
I still have thoughts, but it has become easier to avoid them. If you want you can PM me.

Well I haven't yet but I do believe it is possible and I know that I will stop. I cannot see myself living like this for the rest of my life!

I know what you mean about cutting being about control. I cut to stay in control a lot of the time. But yeh sometimes I think 'at what cost?' because I do keep going but I am limited in so many areas, not least in my honesty. I feel I do live a big lie sometimes.

But at the same time I don't believe in thinking of SH as an external component, an 'IT'. I understand what you mean and I don't mean to sound like the devils advocate, but *I* decide to cut, it is always my choice. Sometimes, sure, it feels like the only choice, but maybe it will help if you see SH as a choice and not as something that is being forced upon you?

I used to cut myself often and I managed to stop. I didn't wanna kill myself but one day I cut a bit to deep and it terrified me so from then on I stopped. It was hard, but its not impossible! You'll make it one day, chin up x x

@sannah, i never did, but i used to get a lot of support from a close friend and boyfriend, the friend moved away, and i broke up with my boyfriend. everyone else i know cuts themselves... so we obviously can't help each other without being hypocritical.

and yes, i was able to stop for half a year with the help of those two people, so i realize it's possible... but i don't know if it is on my own... you know?

Sounds like you need to find healthier people to be around.

I WISH. I cut up my legs pretty bad the other night and the back part of my arm near my elbow and my wrist (superficial, I didn't hit a vein and never had the balls to do it) I was in such a spiral. Now I look rediculous but atleast it's winter.

We're all playing a dangerous game with this compulsion..and it is a compulsion I can't stop it anymore than I can stop my depression