Family

Is it possible to overcome such a problem without the help of those around you? I guess let me clarify in the fact that those around are often the main causes for completing such self abuse. Therapy is needed, yet time and time again therapists state that family is vital in the key to recovery...I ask what if family is the main cause for the pain, then what?

Had similar problem, family members were often the ones to set me off. Took me two years to finally talk to them and get through to them what my problem was. It made things better, not perfect, dont get me wrong, but a bit better. So i think you do need to talk to your family and somehow get through to them how much pain they are causing you (without it sounding full-out blaming), but only because they are what is mainly causing you problems, not because 'family is vital', friends got me through.
Hope that made sense and helps.
PM me if you need someone to rant at/whatever :-)
J x

It does make sense yes. But I guess here is the place I am at. I am stuck in a position of not knowing what to do. I am sure I am not the only one on here with F*&^% up past family situations, but I will say it is the root to everything. I am now an adult forced to deal with the past, forced to deal with everything that has happened...i.e the abuse. But here is the dilemma, the abuser is not vitally ill and in order to be in full recovery I must face the facts with everything that has happened, forgiveness and such. The abuser is to ill to understand anything that has happened, and in reality is pointless to even confront such an issue. Where to go and what to do is the question. In order to speak to the family (which in everybody else's eyes is perfect) I must confront everybody and everything...With an ill abuser being the problem (and in the family) as well as a family member who was kicked out at an early age and I being the only one who has contact with them...how would anybody go about confronting such a thing.

What helped me a great deal was realizing that no one can cause me to feel or do anything. No one is physically abusing me and as an adult, I'm not forced to be in anyone's sphere. These are my feelings and my actions. The next time I had urges to harm myself I decided no to do it. Just that time, just that day. It is a choice we make and I choose not to. The urge always passes on its own.

Yup, family is very important. If you are from a functional one, lucky you. If you are from a dysfunctional one.........

Remember, you don't have to convince anyone of anything in your family. You know the truth. Abuser's rarely fess up to what they did so getting them to validate the consequences of what they did usually doesn't happen and in your situation you can't even go that route. Getting the rest of the family to see what happened is really tough too. Trying to convince them is a huge black hole of sucking away your emotional energy.

Yeah, family support is great but if you don't have it you don't have it. I don't rely on my immediate family for anything. I have created my own new family (husband and children) and I reach out to healthy people. There is more to life then your family. Frequently, there are barriers that need to be overcome in order to allow yourself to get close to healthier people, however.