[SweetSunshine]

I am feeling the need to SI again. I dont want to . Its been months since I have... lookiing back at my journal it was August 17th when hubby and I had the big arguement. I dont have a razor here. And its gonna take everything in me not to go get some tomorrow. The one thing that may stop me is the fact that I dont want to leave the house. I havent driven anywhere since last Wednesday. For me that is like forever. I usually go somewhere everyday. Just to get out of the house.Right now I dont care anymore.

[backandforth]

why do you feel the need to si again? what's going on? stress, anxiety, ambivalence, worries??? there must be some kind of trigger,.... one thing that struck out at me when reading your post was that you said you don't WANT to si again. I know this may not seem like a big thing to you but it is b/c at least you can genuinely try to do something about it instead of just "letting it happen" b/c you don't care. I know you said you don't care but the more of an option si seems and the less of an option it seems that this "feeling" will go away, the more likely you're to feel this way. mmmh... if you were to leave the house (which might be a good idea to get your mind off things) can you drag a friend along so you won't be tempted to buy razors? does anything work for you to get over the urge to si?? could you do that? or call a friend, write, keep yourself busy- that's the only thing I find works at least in the S/T b/c you're sort of forcing yourself to focus on something else. hope all goes well.

one thing I do is to find a craft that I can make for someone. I know that I won't do things for myself; however, knowing that I am making something for someone else does excite me. Maybe you can bake or do something and bring it to a friend for the holiday season. That might give you a chance to connect with someone and keep your hands productive. Just an idea.. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

((((((Bethy)))))))
You are going through a really tough time. I'm sorry to hear that.
I hope you find the stregnth not to SI.
I hope something inside of you clicks and you will know, without any doubts, that everything is going to be okay.
If you force yourself to step outside, not even to go anywhere-just to take a walk, I think the sun shining on your face would perk you up a little. It always does for me.
I hope you feel better real soon. You can so handle this upcoming appt., Bethy. Try to think positive. It probably won't be 1/4 as bad as you're imagining.
Please, stay safe.

[JustBen]

I think this is all good feedback. Can you go for a walk or a jog? Go out with a friend? Sometimes getting out of my environment gives me a new perspective on things. I don't know a great deal about SI, but hased on what I've read here, connection to others seems to be key. Cutting seems to be something that happens when you're alone.

[SweetSunshine]

I've held off for a few days now ... I dont think I can do it much longer. Things just took a nosedive again.

[Rapunzel]

How are you, Bethy? What's going on and what could you do to improve the situation?

You are loved and cared about no matter what. I hope you can remember that.

Rap