Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Aug 18, 2011, 02:48 AM
Sanada's Avatar
Sanada Sanada is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2011
Location: Io. Near Jupiter
Posts: 1,034
Still going strong (kinda), after nearly 4-5 months of being in PC I have not cut.
The urges are still there. I have to control them cause one slip and I will be cutting again.
I live in hell at the moment. So I am very very surprised I have not cut.
When/ or if, I move home I'm worried that I will cut when I look in hindsight at whats happened over the last half year.

I do think that will be the 'acid test' for myself. Once I've moved on from this living hell at the moment. Friends have gone over and sui'd at less than what is going on in life at the moment.

I have to avoid thinking of cutting, and think more of the regret I'll have later. But oh my goodness is the urge there. I am getting better at self control but i dont know how long this will last.

I have to keep coming here to PC to find my crutch, it's a good crutch and support network. But I am still faced with crappy life when I log out.

I'll try my best to make it to 6 months. I think I will. With the help and advice I get here.
Wish Me Luck (I need it).

Thanks.
__________________
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement .
But the opposite of profound truth maybe another profound truth.

(Niels Bohr) Nobel Prize Winner for Physics.


The universe started with an 'E'.
The universe will end with a 'K'.

(lyrics Acid House)

Its the truth even if it did not happen.
(Ken Kesey) One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.

Real science can be far stranger than science fiction and much more satisfying.

advertisement
  #2  
Old Aug 18, 2011, 10:43 AM
Sannah's Avatar
Sannah Sannah is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
Do you have a therapist Sanada?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
Thanks for this!
Sanada
  #3  
Old Aug 18, 2011, 03:26 PM
Sanada's Avatar
Sanada Sanada is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2011
Location: Io. Near Jupiter
Posts: 1,034
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah View Post
Do you have a therapist Sanada?
yes sannah i have a t. She is a specialist in S/H, or S/I, and she is a drug rehabilitation person too.
I love her dearly and she is very very good at just being there for me right when i need her.

But (awww), there is always a 'but'.

She is distant in ways i cannot see. I want to bring her closer in to my life but i am afraid of that. I am a guy, she is a woman. I have had feelings for her which i know could never happen in real life.
That is a thing i have known since ever having a t. Its a danger i have feared.
I love her. I don't love her.
She is my t.
I open up as much as i can to her, but there is a line in between us.
I know i should not have feelings for her.
I have placed a reply a while ago in the 'Feelings Toward Ones T', bit of the psych therapy section in the forums.
She is just my current t. I will be changing soon and i'm sure its going to cost me alot of heart ache and £££/$$$.
So i feel lost.
__________________
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement .
But the opposite of profound truth maybe another profound truth.

(Niels Bohr) Nobel Prize Winner for Physics.


The universe started with an 'E'.
The universe will end with a 'K'.

(lyrics Acid House)

Its the truth even if it did not happen.
(Ken Kesey) One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.

Real science can be far stranger than science fiction and much more satisfying.
  #4  
Old Aug 18, 2011, 07:32 PM
whenwillitend's Avatar
whenwillitend whenwillitend is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,143
4-5 months is a great accomplishment, congrats! And you're managing to control the urges, which shows that what you're doing is working. I'm sorry life is rough for you at the moment, I hope things will get easier soon. For now, give yourself a big pat on the back for a job well done.
__________________
As she draws her final breath
Just beyond the door he'll find her
Taking her hand he softly says

For the first time you can open your eyes
And see the world without your sorrow
Where no one knows the pain you left behind
And all the peace you could never find
Is waiting there to hold and keep you
Welcome to the first day of your life

Just open up your eyes as I lay you down tonight
Safe on the other side
No more tears to cry
Thanks for this!
Sanada
  #5  
Old Aug 19, 2011, 08:36 AM
Sannah's Avatar
Sannah Sannah is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
Sanada, have you been discussing these things with your T? This is VERY important to do. These things can be worked through. Letting them simmer under the surface is not good. Things need to be brought into the open where they can be dealt with.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
Thanks for this!
Sanada
  #6  
Old Aug 19, 2011, 02:05 PM
Mediator Mediator is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: May 2011
Posts: 511
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sanada View Post
yes sannah i have a t. She is a specialist in S/H, or S/I, and she is a drug rehabilitation person too.
I love her dearly and she is very very good at just being there for me right when i need her.

But (awww), there is always a 'but'.

She is distant in ways i cannot see. I want to bring her closer in to my life but i am afraid of that. I am a guy, she is a woman. I have had feelings for her which i know could never happen in real life.
That is a thing i have known since ever having a t. Its a danger i have feared.
I love her. I don't love her.
She is my t.
I open up as much as i can to her, but there is a line in between us.
I know i should not have feelings for her.
I have placed a reply a while ago in the 'Feelings Toward Ones T', bit of the psych therapy section in the forums.
She is just my current t. I will be changing soon and i'm sure its going to cost me alot of heart ache and £££/$$$.
So i feel lost.
Hi Sanada
Sorry you should not have feeling for her? I know for sure that what is a problem that we think what we should feel. Therefore I do mindfulness meditation there is not thinking just truth. Sometimes the truth makes me sick but meditation helps to go through.
By the way I like Sannah she helps me and many others people here. I do not want to write what sometimes I feel if she makes a good point that I am my problem.
Take care
Mediator
Thanks for this!
Sanada
  #7  
Old Aug 19, 2011, 02:17 PM
Xeneon's Avatar
Xeneon Xeneon is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: May 2011
Posts: 961
You have a made it to 4 to 5 Months!!! Thats awsome!!! I'm sorry you feel that there is something in between you and her. Have thought about telling her that and the feeling or urges??? Do you have to change T's or do you want to change T's so that it will be easier? Keep up the good work!!!
__________________
"To err is human, to forgive is devine." by Alexander Pope
Thanks for this!
Sanada
  #8  
Old Aug 19, 2011, 08:39 PM
Sanada's Avatar
Sanada Sanada is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2011
Location: Io. Near Jupiter
Posts: 1,034
I have to change t soon cause she is not exactly working (or focusing upon s/h at the moment), she is my drug rehabilitation t at the moment. She does talk to me about s/h but the cases she deals with are not like mine.
My own personal s/h'ing started after an accident 5 years ago, an it has addictive qualities. The people she deals with are deep cutters and are in hosp for a long time cause of the damage they have done. So I do not cross the subject with her much.
When I cut I self heal to without needing to go to hosp. There is a big difference in between someone in a coma for 6 months and my own self harm which is nothing like that.
I guess like in every thing there is a gradient of how far one goes.
I look at my self (and my t looks at my scars and thinks), they are serious, but not suicidal. Its a very weird situation. I have admitted that what I do/did is an addiction thing.
Thank you for the replies.
As long as I can get through the weekend with out cutting I should be OK.
The weekend thing is just that; its the part of the week I dislike the most at the moment cause I used to spend it with people whom are not alive or around. And never will be again.
__________________
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement .
But the opposite of profound truth maybe another profound truth.

(Niels Bohr) Nobel Prize Winner for Physics.


The universe started with an 'E'.
The universe will end with a 'K'.

(lyrics Acid House)

Its the truth even if it did not happen.
(Ken Kesey) One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.

Real science can be far stranger than science fiction and much more satisfying.
Thanks for this!
Xeneon
  #9  
Old Aug 20, 2011, 10:44 AM
Xeneon's Avatar
Xeneon Xeneon is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: May 2011
Posts: 961
That makes sense. To bad she couldn't work with you with it. Try to have a good weekend and maybe look for different people you could start hanging out with. Take care!!!
__________________
"To err is human, to forgive is devine." by Alexander Pope
Thanks for this!
Sanada
  #10  
Old Aug 22, 2011, 09:09 AM
Sannah's Avatar
Sannah Sannah is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
The things that are causing you to abuse drugs are the same which cause the SI. Is she helping you with the things that caused the urges to abuse drugs?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
Reply
Views: 312

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:11 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.