[manicminer]

With my bi-polar I tend to beat myself up inside about anything I hear bad about me, mistakes I make, and any poor life decision that others notice and say something about. And noramally I just beat myself up in my mind, even yell at myself verbally.
With my tendency toward SI, however, I sometimes escilate into physically beating myself up over things. I gone as far as slapping and punching myself in the face, beating my head against the wall, punching things I know will hurt me. If the problem was of a sexual nature I've even gone as far as to turn the abuse on my genitals.
Are there any BP/SI combo people out there that have this same issue? How do you control yourself?

I wish I'd seen your post first, before I posted my own. That way I'd have at least known I am not alone in similar behavior, and in reading my answer, you would have known the same thing. I don't know how to stop "beating myself up" either verbally or physically, but it is a comfort to know I am not the only one.

[zbmom]

I have bp and I struggle with cutting. It gets worse the more depressed I am.

[kaliope]

Im bp and I cut. Havent cut for about a year and a half i guess its been. And then it was just here and there. And I went five years without cutting before that.

But I think what helped me was understanding the why i did it better. I am not certain. I jsut know I worked thru a book called the Scarred Soul. It's less than 20 dollars. Easy to read, very non threatening. you read a chapter and then there are questions at the end of the chapter. it constantly reminds you that you are safe and it is not asking you to quit while you are working thru the book. it is only trying to help you understand your behaviors. it doesnt ask you to try to stop till nearly the end of the book. i quit working the book at that chapter because i could not commit to quitting. the thing is, i didnt cut again for five years so the book really helped me. i highly recommend it.

[~Christina]

I dont know the answer to this ,,,,
I myself cut ,, Its always at nite ,, nitetime is the worst for me .. if i take my sleep meds and they work Im safe ...If for some reason I fight them and wind up staying awake and continue to overthing things like I do all day long thats when I find myself cutting ..

My husband cant handle what I do to myself and threatens divorce and yells and screams .. I dont EXPECT him to understand... but my cutting is not as deep as it was back in june when I signed into the hospital because I cut so bad I needed sutures ... As I said I dont expect him to understand ,, but I just wish he could understand Im working hard as hell in therapy to deal with ALL my issues and gawd knows I have plenty of them.

I wish there was simple answer to how to stop self injury but I think its just part of the journey most of us have trying to find a safe more stable happy life .

Manicminer ,, Please make sure your T or Pdoc knows what is going on. My T is aware of my cutting . I dont hide anything from him even tho its so hard to be completly honest at times ,,but its for our own good to be honest so we can learn to cope better and feel better about ourselves.

Wishing you peace and Love

[Sannah]

Do you think that you are punishing yourself? There is the issue of impulse control with BP. I would think though that if you get the starting idea out of your head that this would curtail the impulse control issue.

[manicminer]

Thanks for the responses. I do plan on telling my pdoc. dont have a T anymore. def thinking bout getting one again but that will have to wait until I get health insurance and figure out if it will cover therapy. otherwise it aint in the budget. I dont think I'm punishing myself, I just try to find ways to create a greater pain than the physical and mental ones I am feeling at that point in time. The new pain overriding the old constant ones gives me a healing feeling because those old pains are gone, even for just a moment.