[ErinBear]

Hi,

I just really need to say somewhere that sometimes this is hard! I have not done anything to hurt myself for a very long time (probably over a year...I don't really keep count). This is always a bad time of year for me and in recent years when I've slipped up, it's been around this time of year. I am trying to make good choices and be safe. And still it is just really hard. I am wrestling with it. My counselor is on an extra-long vacation and will be gone for all of the hardest days for me, and still won't be back for what seems like a long time. I am wishing we were going to be meeting soon and there would be a place to talk about some of these things. Sometimes things just seem...well...difficult. Thanks for listening. I just needed to say it somewhere. Thanks.

Take care,
ErinBear

[Beautiful_Pain]

I understand that Erin, it is hard without a T to talk to. And I know how hard it can be to stay safe, and make the 'better' choices. I've been losing that struggle lately. I hope you do better than I have been, at least until your T gets back, and you have someone to talk to. If it helps, talk here or feel free to pm me.

Take care

[ErinBear]

Hi BP,

I'm so sorry this has been a hard time for you too. I wanted to send you my caring thoughts. Even if you've had some slips lately, I hope you know that doesn't mean you're "doomed" to continue having slips. Each time after it's over....the next moment, the next day....however you'd like to look at it...you have a clean slate again and you can start afresh. That's what I tell myself when there's been a problem. I am sure thinking of you, too. And thanks for the good wishes you're sending my way. I sure appreciate it. :-) I'm sure working on it and keeping at it, keeping trying to make healthy choices and do the best I can.

Thinking of you....and thanks again, a lot.

Take care,
ErinBear

[Beautiful_Pain]

Thank you ErinBear, it means alot. =) You are most welcome to any support I can give, anytime.

Take care as best you can =)

[hereiam]

ErinBear...you sound a lot like me!

I've also been 'clean' (the best way to say it, I guess) for about 6 or 7 months now, but just like you, I don't like to keep count. This is because I've slipped up before after rationalizing that 'since I haven't done it in this long, its okay if I do it just once'.

Anyway, I just wanted to say I completely understand what you're saying. Sometimes, it's just too damn hard! But when we can get through those moments without self-injury, we are the winners. We are the ones that come out on top and ultimately gain from it. Congratulations on over a year! That's amazing. You should be so proud of yourself, I know I am (of you).

But also know that this CAN be done without a T. I mean, the T is guiding you and helping you along, but ultimately you are the one who is not self-injuring and I truly believe that you can maintain that. I have gone this long without ever talking to any T about my cutting. I'm not saying that you are me, or that it should be easy for you, but just know that it can be done and I have faith in you.

Please PM me if you ever need any help or just wanna talk. I hope all goes well for you!

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

((( ErinBear ))) Can you have some friends over for popcorn or a slumber party to keep busy? Its late and my brain is not so sharp right now..I JUST saw this.....Can you call T or anything to break this time of year from being THAT time of year..PM me please ...and I will check in on you when I wake

hugs

[ErinBear]

Hi Hereiam

Thanks so much for your kind message - and congratulations to you, too, for going so long and staying "clean" as you put it! I think that's fantastic!

I agree with you 100% that this can be done without a T, and I know that. And I get through a lot of things without talking with a T. I also know that sometimes it can help to talk to a T, at least for me and with the counseling relationship I have now. I guess that was what I was thinking. So even if it is not necessary, sometimes it could be helpful. So, I will be looking forward to when he gets back and we can meet again. (I hope that makes sense.)

Hopefully after a few more days pass, things will start easing up again. I hope so. The point for me is to just get through it and probably stay busy if I can. That usually helps me when I'm not doing so well. It may not be the best coping mechanism at times, but for a short term thing, I think it's not the worst choice either!

Anyway, thanks again. Sending you good wishes too -

Take care,
ErinBear

[ErinBear]

Hi Sleeps,

Thanks for your message, I appreciate it. This being the holidays, my friends are very busy with other things at the moment, but I'm trying to stay busy with various things. Like I said, I'm working to make good choices....it's just a hard time. Hopefully things will ease up in a few more days. (hope hope hope) :-)

Hugs,
ErinBear

[bipolar_bear]

It is so hard when your T is away let alone at a time that you find difficult. I am so happy you have coped so far. Please use the coping skills you have learned while you have been in therapy rather to resorting to old ways. I know how difficult this can be but it sounds like you are strong and determined enough to make it through. Will posting here help? If you ever need someone to talk to especially through these hard times pleas PM me. Be safe and give yourself the kindness you deserve.

[ErinBear]

Hi Bipolar Bear,

It's nice to be talking to another bear! Bears are good!

Thanks for the kind words...I'm trying to do the healthy thing and be safe, and yes, it is helping to write here, and I appreciate the support from everyone, so thanks. I think I will try to think of a project to start today, maybe a crochet project, to keep my hands and mind busy. This sometimes helps me. I was pretty busy with projects up until Christmas but now that Christmas is over, I think I need to manufacture a project, at least for the next few days. So that was the idea I had this morning.

Anyway, thanks again, to you and to everyone else - thanks for listening and thanks for the support.

Take care,
ErinBear

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

ErinBear....that's a good idea I wanna get back to latch hook rugs..even if I give them away its cool to just do and not think....so you crochet....hmmmmm....I am fond of blue
Keep making the right choices and we are all here for you

[ErinBear]

Hi Sleeps,

I like blue too

And that's great you enjoy latch-hooking! I say go for it! Even if you give it away, as you said. I give away most of my crocheting. It is fun to make surprises for other people.

So far I have made healthy choices...I am continuing to work on it...so if I can just get through the next few days then I think I will be past the worst of it. So that will be good.

Thanks to you and everyone else for the support here :-)

Take care,
ErinBear