boundaries...

is s/i-ing while you are going t considered crossing a boundary. is it like drinking/substance while in t. is it techniquically wrong to do. should it not be done at all until you are finished. just wondering if im breaking a rule every time i do. if its wrong. its wrong. i really dont think i can not do it. but i can not mention it to t anymore if its wrong.

Hello suzzie.
Being wrong is a thing we place upon our self's. When I used to self harm (and I never say never, I been close to re-lapse recently), to say what we are is abnormal is a label we place upon our self's.
When I cut myself I thought it was natural (it was/is natural because I did it). Nothing on earth is not natural. Nature is all that, Nature.

How we deal and cope with why we/I self harm is (to me) more important. There are sooooooooooooooooo many things in this world that trigger us, I try to be prepared now, when I feel a re-lapse coming, I am prepared for it.
Try to prepare for being trigged, in the way it comes. (triggers come in many masks).

What I do is prepare for the after-math. I know I will be 'released', but I will regret what I have done.

No T or nobody is you're sub-concious. You are you.

I know how hard it is (believe me), but you are the centre of the universe you live in. The body is 'you're' temple.
In life there are many forms of self harm.
Cutting, burning, starvation and any form of harm to the body and mind come in many forms.

Prepare you're self. Guard you're self. You are a gift on Earth.
Share you're gift.
DO NOT though deny what you are (i.e, upon a relapse you remain the same).

I do hoped this helped.

xxxxx

I'm not sure. Some Ts won't work with cutters, others have 'rules' about it. I think it depends on the T. Have you discussed SI with your T before?

I'm sorry I can't be more helpful, I'm interested to hear others' responses.

Any time I've talked about SI with my T I've always brushed it off as a past event - like before I was seeing her, or when she was away. I didn't intend to do it anymore... But, I've started up again and now I really don't know if I can bring it up with her -- I don't know what she'll say. I'm scared that she won't think she is able to help me anymore. I also feel like, by my actions, I've insulted her in a way, by failing her... I don't want her to know what I've done.

I'm trying to stop.
I hope you can be strong and refrain from SI. Best wishes

IMO, the best therapy realizes that people relapse. It is really important to be honest with your therapist so that she can help you. Digging through issues in therapy stirs stuff up and it is hard and it can make people fall back on these coping mechanisms.

but she doesnt think its anything to be concerned about. that it will go away in time. so i dont want to bring it up anymore. maybe i can manage it. havent done nothing the last few days. just think about it alot.

I haven't cut for about 2 months now (which by the way, is amazing for me).
I have been seeing my t for 4 years. She knows that I have cut, and that it's possible that I could again.
When I cut, I feel awful because I know that I am going to have to go talk to t about it.
In my opinion, it is really important to be able to tell your t about what's going on, even when it includes cutting. It's going to be awfully hard to get better and do the work you need to in therapy if you can't talk about something as major as cutting.

Sounds like she is focusing on getting you better so that you won't need this coping mechanism. I like this focus. This doesn't mean that you can't share your feelings about it with her. It sounds like you are distressed about this so it is important to share with her your distress.

When it comes to therapy I dont think there are many rules outside of the professional ethic. I see a T bi weekly and if ive si'd we briefly go over what i was feeling around that time (as best as I can remember). Basically the only time si is going to cause a huge issue is if its extensive and bordering on life threatening.. other than that its just really a coping mechanism.. a symptom of larger issues so to speak.

I've cut many times before I've seen my T. Sometimes the night before, soemtimes the morning.
Because I was anxious, other times when I was overwhelmed.
I don't think I've ever brought it up with her that I was bleeding in session...
But she knows I do it. Like you, she's focusing on giving me other coping mechanisms...