[googley]

I want to cut. I am feeling depressed and lonely and unlovable. I went to my friend's for Thanksgiving tomorrow, but now I feel so alone. I hate the holidays as it reminds me of how alone I am. That I will probably be alone my whole life. Everyone else has family, and my family just hurts me when I am around them. I tell everyone that I don't see my family for holidays because of the cost (which is part of it), but really it is because I don't want to see them. So I guess it is my fault that I am lonely. And mine alone.

No one will ever love me, my mom was right. I don't know why I even try. People want to be around me when I can help them, but once that is done I'm all alone. No one cares.

(((((googley)))))

Sorry you are feeling so low. Sounds to me like these negative people in your life don't deserve your time. Personally, I would rather be alone than to be surrounded by people who make me feel bad.

Remember that we here at PC care...and although you can't see us in the flesh, we can definitely be your virtual family!

[kaliope]

googley

i dont go to family for the holidays either. i have always given the excuse i cant afford it because i cant stand the idea of being with people who hurt me so much. i am not going to pretend that everything is better now that we are older. my mental health takes precedence. im done with them.

i went to a friends for thanksgiving too. and today im all alone and spent the day hanging out on PC posting. i know you have lots of people here who care deeply for you, not the same i know, but still you do have people who care.

i used to think people only wanted to be around me when i could help them, but i have found that i was wrong. its just that that was the only time i put myself out there. to help and then i isolated myself. people would love to have me around, i just dont allow them the opportunity. i always say no because i dont think people want me around. i feel like a burden or they are having pity for me. im learning this isnt true. people really like me for me. its hard to believe, but slowly i am letting them in. im learning that my mom was wrong. i believe that your mom was probably wrong too.

Hugs.

[likewater]

Oh((((( googley))))). You are so beautiful and lovable. I've only begun to know you on this site, but i know you don' t
Deserve to be hurt. Please be kind to yourself and surround yourself with people who are kind and generous to you.

[Sannah]

Googley, you are making great progress in therapy and you are going to get yourself to a place where you will allow people to get close to you and then you will have a rich life.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( googley ))))))))))))))

((((hugs))))))

Googley I feel your pain...a lot of what you said sounds like my story. We just have to learn to be ok with being alone, but know that you're really not alone & there are people who really do care/love you. *hugs*

[googley]

Thank you everyone for your support. It means so much to know that I can come here and know that people understand. There are times where it is all so hard and it feels like everything is falling apart. Knowing I can come here and get support means so much.