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#1
Jan 23, 2012, 03:44 AM
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I am up in the early hours of the morning doing a history project, so typical of me... Anyway for some reason my mind seems very clear, not distorted by the depression for once, and I have a bit of a mini-epiphany about my cutting. It's not necessary. I'm going to regret it. Why started this was, my iPod was on shuffle, and it was playing a Taylor Swift song (I used to love Taylor Swift but not anymore) and I tuned out until the last line, when for some reason I just stopped and listened. "Lost your balance on a tightrope, it's never too late to get it back. And I realized that it's ok, just because I cut doesn't mean there's no hope, I can still stop if I try. And that's what I want to do. I started recently, but I can already feel it getting out of control. And I want to be free. So I'm going to try to stop. I just had to write it down so I have people to hold me accountable, and I can come back and read this and say, "Ok, I said I was going to stop." And I'm gonna be honest: I'm going to need some help with it, because I am really bad about saying I'll do something then giving up. So hopefully i can get some support with it
 I know you guys are always helpful though thanks for reading, just had to get that all down. I'm already feeling kind of better about it.
__________________
Truth ain't gonna change the way you lie Youth ain't gonna change the way you die -Foo Fighters ••••••••••••• You made yourself a bed At the bottom of the blackest hole And convinced yourself that it's not The reason you don't see the sun anymore -Paramore |
 GaBabyBear, ur_ladybird
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#2
Jan 23, 2012, 07:46 AM
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Quote:
don't do it!! do not do it.... |
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#3
Jan 23, 2012, 08:00 AM
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please....xx
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#4
Jan 23, 2012, 08:02 AM
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You have my support! Isn't it amazing how music can sometimes be so therapeutic. Have you tried meditation? Meditation music has a way of helping me clear my mind and think more clearly when my thoughts become too overwhelming. Anyway, just something to try if you haven't already.
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#5
Jan 23, 2012, 08:18 AM
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You have support! I am trying to stop as well, so if you need to talk about it or anything else, you can always PM me
__________________
"I know when I look back some day, there will be beauty from pain." -WhereDidSheGo |
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#6
Jan 23, 2012, 10:48 AM
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MLID, you have my support! Do you have a therapist?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#7
Jan 23, 2012, 11:54 AM
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I don't have a therapist but I will tomorrow
I don't know if I'm going to see her regularly but I'll find out soon. Thanks everybody
__________________
Truth ain't gonna change the way you lie Youth ain't gonna change the way you die -Foo Fighters ••••••••••••• You made yourself a bed At the bottom of the blackest hole And convinced yourself that it's not The reason you don't see the sun anymore -Paramore |
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#8
Jan 23, 2012, 11:56 AM
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Quitting SI will be one of the hardest things you do in your life, but it will have a very positive impact on your life in the long run.
__________________
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. |
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#9
Jan 23, 2012, 12:15 PM
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I'm so glad that you have an appt. tomorrow. Please keep us posted.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#10
Jan 24, 2012, 05:07 PM
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I saw my new T today. I think it helped a lot, now at least I know when I am feeling lonely I get to see here again soon and I can talk to her about it. I didn't have the guts to tell her that I cut. I didn't want to disappoint her, I guess... And I dint want her to tell my parents... She said that she is required to tell them if I have been abused or am actively suicidal. Do you think she would tell them if I told her I cut? However, we were talking about suicide and she made me promise I wouldn't do anything to hurt myself for the next few weeks as we talk about all of this. So maybe that will keep me from cutting, even if that's not exactly what she meant. Anyway I want her to know that I cut, but how do I bring it up and tell her?
__________________
Truth ain't gonna change the way you lie Youth ain't gonna change the way you die -Foo Fighters ••••••••••••• You made yourself a bed At the bottom of the blackest hole And convinced yourself that it's not The reason you don't see the sun anymore -Paramore |
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#11
Jan 25, 2012, 08:38 AM
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Ask her if she will tell your parents about SI. I'm really glad that you had a good therapy appt.!
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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