I don't SI very much or very often; when I do it I never do things that would show unless somebody looked closely at my knuckles to see that they were bruised, for instance. It's still something I think I should maybe bring up in therapy. How do I do that? I'm seeing a new therapist, I've met him a couple of times only but I think I am going to be able to trust him, and I think he's committed to try and help me. I don't want to jeopardise that, and I really don't want to blow this up out of proportion. Is it better not to say anything, as long as I am able to fight the urges down? (That approach doesn't look too healthy when I see it written down... ) What do I say to him, and when?

[SoupDragon]

My T knows I SI, but it is rarely talked about - I think he has asked about it 2 or 3 times in over 2 years. I can't remember how T got to know about it, he has never seen it - think he just made a "lucky" guess.

I do think it can be significant to share, to let your T know that sometimes things are so difficult for you.

When I find it difficult to share something, I write it down in an e-mail.

Soup

[ickydog2006]

I was forced into telling my T, but overall their reaction was very calm. They did want to know if it was a suicide attempt (no), if I ever thought of using it as a suicide attempt (no, I had other methods planned), and we talked about why I did it, what I got out of it. She wanted me to make a contract but I told her that I knew I'd break it. I think we ended up compromising that if I ever cut so deep I was worried about it needing stitches I would go to the doctor and I would tell her.

[Idiot17]

I was forced into telling my t, he didnt let me move or leave before he got an answer. However i was adament not to aay anything else so he knows i si but he doesnt know anything about it.

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

My T knows I SI, but it is rarely talked about - I think he has asked about it 2 or 3 times in over 2 years. I can't remember how T got to know about it, he has never seen it - think he just made a "lucky" guess.

I do think it can be significant to share, to let your T know that sometimes things are so difficult for you.

When I find it difficult to share something, I write it down in an e-mail.

Soup

Yes, maybe I'll write something to him. I don't think I can email him, but I can always write a letter.

I think that if he guessed and asked about it I would be able to tell him. It's bringing it up unprovoked that's hard. But it is significant, I'm pretty sure of that.

Originally Posted by ickydog2006

I was forced into telling my T, but overall their reaction was very calm. They did want to know if it was a suicide attempt (no), if I ever thought of using it as a suicide attempt (no, I had other methods planned), and we talked about why I did it, what I got out of it. She wanted me to make a contract but I told her that I knew I'd break it. I think we ended up compromising that if I ever cut so deep I was worried about it needing stitches I would go to the doctor and I would tell her.

Thank you for sharing this. It's useful to know what kind of things they might ask about. For me, it's never a suicide attempt, there are other reasons why I do it.

Originally Posted by Idiot17

I was forced into telling my t, he didnt let me move or leave before he got an answer. However i was adament not to aay anything else so he knows i si but he doesnt know anything about it.

Thank you - yes, I suspect that they would insist on knowing about it.

Be safe.

[SoupDragon]

My T never asked me much about SI and if it was connected to sui thoughts, once he asked if it hurt while I was doing it and looked genuinely concerned when he was asking it.

He reassured me that it was something that I had learned to do to survive difficult feelings and said that he didn't want to take any coping strategies away from me. I think his thoughts are as I progress through with him, I will find other, more healthy ways of dealing with the difficult thoughts and feelings I have and SI will therefore "naturally" cease. It has reduced a lot over the last 6 months. I also remember him saying that he didn't want to focus on it, as that can lead to an increase in SI - can't remember the exact words he used, but I am sure that is what he meant.

So I guess what I am saying is although for me it is shameful to talk to T about, I am sure it is not an uncommon thing for T's to come across and that your T will know how to support you - IMO their reaction would not be a negative one.

[zbmom]

My T said it was important to talk about it because of the shame I was attaching to myself because of it. So she would ask me about anything that was visibly obvious and when we would talk about it she would always tell me that it was just a coping mechanism. That it wasn't a healthy one but that I was trying to take care of myself with the tools I had.

I personally think that it is important to talk about it with your T.

[carly011]

My mom told my T...made me extremely mad! My T reacted great, saying she doesn't blame me for cutting, and that she wasn't surprised that i cut. I was the one being the baby and refusing to talk that ended with me almost having 911 called(cause i couldnt commit for safety) but in the end, it was a really good thing she found out because she has helped me a lot

let t know, however i have read and know from personal experience t's wont' always focus on it. the t i have knows i do, has asked about it one time only. he has known for a very long time.
i think like soup said, that if they focus on it, i might get worse, and by learning new coping strategies, the behavior may cease on its own??? just my meek humble opinion

[Honeybun]

I think you should talk to your T about. There is a thread in the psychotherapy forum where we were just talking about disclosure. Maybe have a look there. It is titled "When you lie to T". Lots of good posts.

Good luck!

Thanks, all. Yes, I've read the thread about lying to your T... my issue is more to do with whether it's important enough to talk about, I guess. But on the other hand, I use the "it's not important" card quite a bit to avoid difficult topics.

I will try to bring it up on Tuesday. I've certainly felt the urge a lot recently, even though I haven't actually done anything to harm myself.