[Hellion]

I have a not so great tendency to bang it against a wall...or hit myself in the head if I am too overwhelmed or if something sets off my PTSD. Its probably not healthy, and the numbness it causes for about a half hour isn't worth the headache once that wears off. Anyways I cannot seem to avoid doing that, other times I have resorted to just punching an inanimate object but then I end up with scraped up knuckles with cuts all over plus if I hit something hard enough I could break bones...or cause bruising like I did once when I punched the hell out of my leg instead.

So yeah I don't really want to give myself a concussion, but typically this happens when I am in the midst of totally freaking out and cannot really reason with myself...nor can others probably when I reach the pre-hitting my head point. I've probably got enough damage as is, so this is a concern for me.

[eskielover]

Buy a riding helmet......for horses, or for bicycles......don't know....just a suggestion.

I know that we ALWAYS wear riding helmets when riding horses because one stumble of the horse & fall, or being thrown off, can end up with a TBI that takes forever to recover from, let alone possible death. They definitely protect the brain from injury.

[Sannah]

Hi Hellion, yeah, banging your head is not a good idea at all. Football players and boxers are realizing how much damage concussions and head injuries can do. You really need your brain. These continual head injuries can cause depression, parkinsons, etc.

Are you angry when you need to do this?

Can you get a therapist?

[lynn P.]

I agree with the others and this is the reason I let my oldest daughter stop Karate sparring. They now know small concussions can have an accumulative affect. Brain injury also causes emotional issues. You can buy sparring gloves and a punching bag or kick boxing stand and just hit as much as you like. Let the frustration out opposed to hurting yourself. Sorry this is happening.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Hi Hellion, yeah, banging your head is not a good idea at all. Football players and boxers are realizing how much damage concussions and head injuries can do. You really need your brain. These continual head injuries can cause depression, parkinsons, etc.

Are you angry when you need to do this?

Can you get a therapist?

Well sort of angry I suppose...I don't know it is hard to describe how exactly I feel when I do that. It usually involves me feeling stupid about how I reacted to something or whatever, or I might not even have any specific reason just so much adrenaline like energy that seems to be the only outlet...but yeah it usually only happens if my PTSD is triggered, or if my anxious/depressed feelings get out of hand. I don't know it is harder then I assumed it would be to describe.

Also I am still waiting for an appointment with a psychiatrist later this month, not sure were that will lead as for therapy I may not be able to do that even if I do want to until I get on SSI and medicaid if I get on those. Also I think maybe some sort of anti-anxiety sedative type prescription could help maybe I'll inquire about that...I mean I would much rather take a Xanax or whatever they'd prescribe and be mellowed than bang my head against a wall till I can't feel anything.

[AngelWolf3]

I agree too! As someone who has suffered 3 concussions, it is definitely something I would not wish on ANYONE (I am still fighting the effects of a TBI in January of this year)
BUT I can understand why you feel like doing this. I like all the ideas that are listed above. I hope that you can find a different way to get relief, though.

Thinking of you.............

Just saw you posted at the same time as me! I am glad you want to find a different way to get the outlet, and glad you have an appointment...let us know how it goes when it happens!

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

I agree with the others and this is the reason I let my oldest daughter stop Karate sparring. They now know small concussions can have an accumulative affect. Brain injury also causes emotional issues. You can buy sparring gloves and a punching bag or kick boxing stand and just hit as much as you like. Let the frustration out opposed to hurting yourself. Sorry this is happening.

Yeah that is an idea, if only I had somewhere to put a punching bag or something...I suppose i could hit a pillow or something softer than a wall. Unfortunatly though hitting something else doesn't always work......it helps get my energy out, but it doesn't have that whole effect of just stopping the intense anxious thoughts/feelings. I always regret it but in the moment before I do it seems like this is what goes on in my brain: 'oh crap this needs to end right now, immediately what to do the only thing that will stop it is banging my head or hitting myself in the head' I don't have those exact thoughts but that is the best way to describe how I feel right before resorting to it

and it just gets more and more intense to where I cannot even think clear enough to come up with an alternative.

[Sannah]

It is okay to have feelings.

[Gr3tta]

i think it is a much better idea to get your frustration out punching inanimate objects than banging your head. you can wrap up you knuckles and wear a wrist brace to minimize damage to your hands. can you hang a punching bag? they're meant to be hit, so the impact to your hand, arm, and shoulder bones is minimized. please do your best to avoid injuring your head. when you do get to see the dr., be honest about your self injurious habits, so they may accurately assist you. thank you for sharing this.

[shezbut]

(((Hellion)))

I've had a few TBI's myself, like Wolfin3, and the results do last forever! By the wording of your post, it sounds as though you are aware of this dangerous potential. That's good! The trick is to find some healthier ways to release your intense emotions without permanently damaging your brain.

You could try screaming into pillows; chomping on carrots; buying & hitting a dummy or punching bag; hmmmmm..... Those are the only ideas I've been able to come up with. It sounds as though you get intense energy surges and you want to GET IT OUT. Anger? Have you talked to a T about these tendencies that you struggle with?

Gentle hugs to you.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by Sannah

It is okay to have feelings.

From a logical perspective I am well aware, but when the feelings are so painful its unbearable than it gets to be a problem and it certainly does not feel okay.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

i think it is a much better idea to get your frustration out punching inanimate objects than banging your head. you can wrap up you knuckles and wear a wrist brace to minimize damage to your hands. can you hang a punching bag? they're meant to be hit, so the impact to your hand, arm, and shoulder bones is minimized. please do your best to avoid injuring your head. when you do get to see the dr., be honest about your self injurious habits, so they may accurately assist you. thank you for sharing this.

I don't have anywhere to hang one, there is my room but not really enough room for something like that......unless maybe its a small one or something I just don't have anywhere to hang anything big and bulky. But yeah I will talk to the dr about that.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by shezbut

(((Hellion)))

I've had a few TBI's myself, like Wolfin3, and the results do last forever! By the wording of your post, it sounds as though you are aware of this dangerous potential. That's good! The trick is to find some healthier ways to release your intense emotions without permanently damaging your brain.

You could try screaming into pillows; chomping on carrots; buying & hitting a dummy or punching bag; hmmmmm..... Those are the only ideas I've been able to come up with. It sounds as though you get intense energy surges and you want to GET IT OUT. Anger? Have you talked to a T about these tendencies that you struggle with?

Gentle hugs to you.

I don't think its simple anger, but that is part of what I feel..I think it has a lot to do with my having PTSD since that makes me on edge so I am more likely to get set off. I didn't really have this issue as a kid I think I was better at suppressing things, in fact my suppressing of things probably increased my risk for getting PTSD. But yeah it is literally an intense energy surge because if something triggers me it sets off what is known as the fight of flight response also reduces impulse control. Luckily I don't bang or hit my head every time I get set off....but still enough to be concerning to me.

[shezbut]

Originally Posted by Hellion

I don't think its simple anger, but that is part of what I feel..I think it has a lot to do with my having PTSD since that makes me on edge so I am more likely to get set off. I didn't really have this issue as a kid I think I was better at suppressing things, in fact my suppressing of things probably increased my risk for getting PTSD. But yeah it is literally an intense energy surge because if something triggers me it sets off what is known as the fight of flight response also reduces impulse control. Luckily I don't bang or hit my head every time I get set off....but still enough to be concerning to me.

I do understand the intense emotional surges ~ very well. I have PTSD myself, despite doing everything I could to avoid conflicts and mayhem (that was very strong and consistent within my family) as I was growing up. As a mid-late teenager, I aimed those intense emotions towards myself and often hurt myself. As a full adult now, I find myself blowing up on others like a kid does!

My point is that I do understand what you're describing. It usually strikes me when I'm with someone that I care about. A lot of times, I snap and bark loudly at them very quickly (it's like an immediate response, before I even think) ~ then, I get myself to take a deep breath and then another more slowly. Close my eyes for a minute or so...and be quiet (in a quiet space). If I'm still around my trigger, this doesn't work. I have to it quiet so I can focus on calming down. Then, I can go back to the situation at hand and apologize for blowing up in the first place.