Trigger!

I just self harmed for the first time since November,
I feel nothing towards it only that I want to feel it again.
Tomorrow morning will be the hang over of guilt but for tonight I do not care.

I hate BPD, i hate all that caused it, I hate that I can't see what's real and what's not.

I hate that the only thing that feels real is the sensation of holding that lighter to my wrist.

I ****ing hate mental illness and everything it makes is feel, do and say.

I definitely understand the feeling. Everyone struggles but you can get up again. Try to take it easy on yourself - now and if you do begin to feel guilt over it.

Take is slow - try and focus on activities that help you to relax. Movies, books, writing. Whatever it may be that can help you thorugh.

Hang in there

How are you today...I just saw this, or I would have replied to you yesterday (I had logged off for the day about half an hour before you posted).

Hi Hun, that's okay, yeah much better today thank you,

I don't have to much guilt about what I did.
Just going to put it down to a moment.

Hope you are keeping well ((hugs))

Great job making it sense November. That was an accomplishment and nothing to be ashamed about. That time all counts, and I am proud of you. I hope today is going much better for you.

I read something today that encouraged me. I hope this encourages you!

Just for today, I remember I am cable, I am worthwhile, I am beautiful, I am lovable and I shall accept both my strengths and weaknesses for they are me. I will no longer believe the lie that if I make a mistake I am a mistake. My mistakes are the learning tools that I shall encounter on my life journey.