[depressedgirl]

I want to hurt myself so bad that I'm shaking. I don't even care about who sees anymore I just want to do it over and over and over till there's no room left on my arms. Just thinking about it is giving me cold chills and I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it but I want to so bad. I probably shouldn't have posted this but I have noone to talk to about this and I need to get it out before the feeling gets so bad that I do something.

[grey_aj]

You are definitely not alone on this one, and I'm sure a lot of us have gone through this at some point (I know I have). The best thing to do is to move your object of SI far far far away or, even better, hand it over to someone you trust (I have a hard time doing this but it's worth a shot). Then once the possibility is out of the way, you can start doing things that you enjoy to help out, or if you can't find anything, at least take a walk somewhere to occupy yourself. I guess it helps to go somewhere where there are more people, even if you don't talk to any of them.

You're definitely not alone! We're all here for you

- AJ

[depressedgirl]

Thanks. Noone that I personally know, knows that I feel this way. :/

Originally Posted by depressedgirl

Thanks. Noone that I personally know, knows that I feel this way. :/

It is very encouraging that you feel you can post about your troubles. I agree that it is good to find someone to give your things to(what you were going to use). I had a Psy Doc tell me to bring in the pills I was planning to use and he would take them from me. Somehow this was reassuring as I knew I would feel vulnerable agin. I wanted them back and he told me that he couldn't give them back. THere are truly people that care about you and they want to be there when your feeling low.
warm thoughts

[depressedgirl]

Thanks... I'm so bad right now that my whole body is literally cold and aching.

[roads]

What's going on with you, that this came up, depressedgirl?
It sounds like it hit you with sort of overwhelming force.

Are you getting grounded any?
Are you clear why you want to SI now.

Can you talk about what you're feeling?

[depressedgirl]

I know why I want to but it's things that a lot of people would judge me for :/

[roads]

People judge me for all sorts of things, but I still do them. Would their judgment of you stop you from SIing?

[depressedgirl]

It's not the judgement of me hurting myself that I'm worried about. It's one of the REASONS I want to that people would judge me for.

[liveforfish]

When I was a teen, I would SI over things people would probably laugh about. I understand your pain. Something's bothering you enough to want to SI, so it's not small to you.

I agree, hide or throw the SI tool far away, even out the window if you can't escape your room right now.

[depressedgirl]

I mean it's not little things to me, but a lot of people would think I can control it. I'm gonna have to post it in a different topic forum to say what it is though.

[roads]

What is the urgency to SI now?

Do you need the immediate relief?
Or is it for the effect ... you said earlier, "I don't even care about who sees anymore I just want to do it over and over and over till there's no room left on my arms."

[depressedgirl]

I just need it. Idk how or when or why I just want to do it so bad. If you could go on the Sexual and Gender Issues forum and read my new post it would be appreciated.. It kind of sums up part of why I feel this way.

[roads]

Okay, I'm back. Please consider the other post. Rather than hurt yourself, can't you delay all plans for an indefinite period? Woman historically has staked out this right. Assume your historic rights!!

roadie

[depressedgirl]

I replied on the other post should I copy and paste my reply here?

[roads]

No, I read it.