I feel so blah...

I feel so blah. I see my life like it's a movie being played before my eyes. i'm sick of it. i'm sick of hearing my mom talk to my dad about the divorce. i'm sick of seeing her so upset. I'm sick of having such insane emotions. I'm sick of having no true friends. I'm sick of this crazy 'life'. Everything so sureal. Like a dream. So i want to cut to make it feel real. feel sumthing that can prove i'm not just a fake person in sum sicko's movie. At least alive. But if i can't do that than maybe i should just die. when i go to bed i pray i don't wake up. i'm sick of this dream! if my whole life's going to be like this than what's the point! sumbodys got sum sick sense of humor cause i'm sure not laughing. whoever started this whole 'creation' thing. why let us suffer? i sure want out. even cuttingS not good anymore! (though i'm trying to stop...)
Gah, thank's for letting me rant. I just have all these crazy thoughts. I don't mean to make fun of 'the creator' (not sure what to beleive anymore) but it's hard when my life's like this. i dunno what to do. i feel so blah...

Hey Honey, Life is for the taking and you shouldn't let it pass you bye make the most of it and take every oppertunity you can get. Cutting as fantastic as it may be only brings more harm to yourself and your life so beat the funk I havent beat the funk, but I am not S/I anymore take it from an old pro. Angels are grounded because they only have one wing the only way to fly is by embracing eachother. Lady J

Sometimes life gets so hard that you retreat and then it doesn't even feel like it is really happening. We do that defensively, and sometimes dissociating like that for a little while can help, as long as you can come back before too long.

Are you able to talk to your parents about the divorce? They might be defensive, and it might be hard for you to hear it, but if they can be open with you, and show that they both still care about you, that might bring it back into the realm of what you can cope with. I hope so, anyway. And I hope that you can talk to them.

Rap

yeah, i talked to them today and told them that i no longer want to hear them talking about t in front of me or show emotion infront of me cause i was having a hard time and they promised me that they wouldn't. I hope they stand up to their word. thank you all for the advice.