Is it possible...

just to cut for "fun"?

Like, to cut when you're not feeling bad, had a great day, and life is good? Not because it's an addiction and I can't stop until I do it. Just more of a, "...well the razors there, I have the time. Why not?" type of thing.

I told T I cut when i'm bored. She basically said {paraphrased} "...boredom sitting still for too long, and not being able to be alone with your feelings or thoughts and so one turns to cutting as a distraction in effort to do something, anything, to not have to be alone with those feelings..."

Very perceptive point - but I don't necessarily think this is applicable to me. At this point it doesn't even hurt anymore, and I don't plan to cut deeper so - it just is what it is.

So, it is possible just to cut for "fun"? If not, then what would the motive be? *shrug* Just wondering your opinions.

I have read about people who get a sort of high from cutting... but if you're doing it for fun, maybe it's just a habit, or maybe you're just so used to doing it, you do it even when you don't need to. I'm not sure.

Regardless of the "reason" a person cuts I think there's no denying the psychological rewards of endorphins, etc.

I've cut due to boredom because being bored to me isn't just wishing I had something to do; all my senses become dulled yet the second something touches me the wrong way I get fidgety. I become anxious. Sometimes paranoid. So cutting gives me the physical feel I think I "need", and the calm after. It's a terrible cycle.

Cutting has become more of an.. urge, for me. Maybe it's because of the endorphin factor, or the visual pleasure I get from seeing blood, or a combination, but it's the same either way; I feel compelled to do it. I really wish I never started

Thanks for the replies =] Was just a little curious.

This actually might be exactly what it is! I have a lot of moments where I feel emotionally numb/diconnected. Hence, no feelings about anything - boredom.

Some days I do feel the urge, but some days I don't. I do know that blood i almost always a factor for me though, so again, you might be on to something

It feels like a habit, and then sometimes almost a chore. Maybe its not really boredom/fun but a mix of a bunch of these. Thanks for the insight =]

Sometimes I do it for fun or boredom, or just because I feel like a scar would look good in a particular spot. So to answer OP's original query, yeah I think it's totally possible to sometimes just self harm for fun or out of boredom. Maybe not for everyone, but certainly some. However, I don't know about starting self harming just for fun (not saying it's impossible, just seems more unlikely).

Thanks for your input =] And I do agree about the scar placement thing, I have this urge to recut this one area (one of the newer but now old ones) because I hate that it looks like a scarab beetle to me (probably not to anyone else haha) but I haven't decided what I want to shift it into.

Oh yes, starting for fun is, like you said, probably much more rare. And while I don't remember why I started (i remember the actual event though - I was a sophomore in college) - fun was definitely not the reason. But hey, anythings possible.

I would be somewhat disturbed by someone doing that for fun, but I can see it being a possibility. I used to do that for all sorts of reasons, of which I can't remember, as it was a while ago, and it was a messy time that I have spent years trying to block out.

Wow there are a lot of good inputs in here.

Related to the conversation, here are my experiences.

I initially started for 'fun', but I realized I had a history of self-harm throughout all of my childhood. The frustrated punch-to-the-head kind, and then I was just generally destructive of things around me when I stopped doing that.

I thought I started because I was bored, or for fun. That's definitely why I chose to start, my thought was 'I'm bored, let's do this'. Blood was definitely a huge factor of it. So were the scars. I was mesmerized by being able to control my own scarring, and I had fond memories of scars on my legs as a kid that had long since faded and I wanted to reclaim some of that back. It took maybe a few months but after a session I finally felt the endorphin rush. It was both liberating and scary. Then I gained a romantic interest and wanted to stop because it was my little secret, and I loved having that secret. I was scared of how other people would react.

With my love-interest's help, after she found out, I quit for a year and 4 months. It was tough fighting the addiction sometimes, but pretty easy because I didn't consciously use it as a coping mechanism. Just as a thing to do.

I relapsed when I was having friend and love-interest (different person) problems to a distressing degree. Ever since then it has been a hellacious battle. When I get overwhelmingly frustrated I don't even think, I go for something sharp. The images and thoughts bombard me, and because I don't want to anymore it's really distressing. I have realized how really addicting it is for me, how much of my free-time it takes to care for the damage done (which was one of my other favorite parts).

After a few years of reflecting I have seen that.. For me I was bored, but I also wanted to practice having control, and I wanted to practice taking care of myself. When I started I was struggling with school and personal life more than I realized at the time. No one else could help me to heal my pains or solve my problems, and to me this seems to have been a symbolic way to do those things on my own.

So I think it's possible, I also think that there might be more to it. It can be more difficult to override you're brain's natural defense mechanism against damage and pain, so you might have to already be in a place where there is so much going on (even if it doesn't feel like it) to dampen those defense mechanisms. Most people get too scared or just can't even when they want to because their brain kicks in for preserving the body.

Anyway, those are my thoughts.