[jpny]

I've been depressed for a few years now. Every so often things get really, really bad. Right now things are BAD! I've been contemplating calling my T but I'm afraid for what he'll say. Right now I'm sitting with all my prescriptions I front of me trying to find a reason not to do it. I've been crying all day and I don't know what to do...

[jadedbutterfly]

I would call your T

[jpny]

My biggest fear with calling my T is that I'll end up in the hospital again. I was hospitalized that year. I was glad that I went and at the time it helped, it's just that things are so different now...but I will take your advice and call

[jpny]

Sorry to say... That was a waste! I'm supposed to see him in 2 days...I don't want to be around for that long

[tealBumblebee]

jpny I can't give you a reason to live, but I can tell you that there IS one. Please take care of yourself. I'm sorry calling the T fell through. I've been in your situation, pills and all. But they didn't work, and I made it. And now, i'm glad I did. Its hard to see beyond the present, but if you choose to save your life, 2 days from now you may just be glad you did.

[jpny]

Originally Posted by tealBumblebee

jpny I can't give you a reason to live, but I can tell you that there IS one. Please take care of yourself. I'm sorry calling the T fell through. I've been in your situation, pills and all. But they didn't work, and I made it. And now, i'm glad I did. Its hard to see beyond the present, but if you choose to save your life, 2 days from now you may just be glad you did.

I'm going to try my best to make the session. I just need help trying to keep occupied. Anyway to distract myself. Can't believe I'm 40 and still having to deal with this crap! I hate my depression! I used to be good at faking that things were good, now it's just gotten too far and painful.

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by jpny

I'm going to try my best to make the session. I just need help trying to keep occupied. Anyway to distract myself. Can't believe I'm 40 and still having to deal with this crap! I hate my depression! I used to be good at faking that things were good, now it's just gotten too far and painful.

Have you thought about going out to maybe a bar, or a movie, or taking yourself out to eat at a restaurant? I also find that when I'm extremely down and no one is available but I need connection, I contact a distant "friend", someone I don't talk to a lot. It has proven really helpful because you're distracted and you get to do something different. Hope it helps.

[jpny]

Originally Posted by tealBumblebee

Have you thought about going out to maybe a bar, or a movie, or taking yourself out to eat at a restaurant? I also find that when I'm extremely down and no one is available but I need connection, I contact a distant "friend", someone I don't talk to a lot. It has proven really helpful because you're distracted and you get to do something different. Hope it helps.

Right so...last week I made calls to people to try to make plans and keep busy. That didn't work--people have obligations and I get that. I list my job in June...so keeping busy is a joke. This also hasn't helped my situation. I've lost a lot of people whom I thought I could rely on. Rhonda are spinning out of control. I'm just afraid of where they will end up. Some how I see my self in the hospital...oneway or another. I went for a walk with a friend and her kids yesterday, before that I hadn't left the house for 3 days.
The world has become too overwhelming.
I'm pretty pathetic!