RANT: Shrinks piss me off...........

Shrinks / therapists / whatever title you want to give them - piss me off.

Yesterday my T told me that she wants me to go the whole week without any SH. She wants "us" to do some "distress toleration" therapy next week... meaning she wants me to look at my healed/healing marks (which make me want to re-harm cuz I do not like when there is nothing fresh). Look at the marks and accept the healing-marks as okay and not want to run and re-SH. I get the concept... but....

I have certainly gone a week without SH in the past. But being *told* that you can not makes it far, far worse. Anxiety SOARS.

And logic tells me if I do not SH this week and we do our little therapy next week - logically she will say - "now do not SH this week". Which means I have to go at least 15 days without any SH.?.?.? More anxiety.


** trigger warning **



Mr Useless is NOT happy. Very, very, very UNhappy. SH is what I use to prevent me from doing far worse things. Forever-things. Noose things.... run your car into a cement wall at high speeds with your seat belt wrapped around your neck things..... Why are shrinks so f***ing stupid as to press us into making matters WORSE.



and to add to the stress - my 1st born turned 18 today. And I HATE that fact. I want my kids to be little. I love, love, love, love little kids. I love, love, love being a dad. Being a dad is all that I have ever wanted. I guess I really have no purpose left here.

Thus endth my rant....

.... .....

I wish I could help, but the only thing I really have to offer is that I understand.. SH is my way to keep my thoughts at bay... Without it, it kills me (no pun intended)... And being told I CAN'T do it makes me want to... It's hard...

((((((Useless Me))))))) I hate being told not to do something. I find that to be a trigger for me, too.

Oh I know exactly how you feel. Therapy never did anything to help me.

I really have no advice, but my thoughts are with you and I wish you nothing but the best. <33

I always get worse when told I can;t do it... ((hugs)) I hope things lighten up this week and maybe you can talk to your T about it? Are they available for in-between chats? (like maybe to say how all this is making you feel, and to get some support around it?).

They shouldn't be telling you not to harm. They should be offering alternatives but if those don't work they should support what you need to do to stay alive.

((((((((uselessme))))))))))

My t explained to me that s/h numbs your emotions so you may appear quiet or bored in sessions as you've already had that emotional release. It's linked to anger and everything else.

I'm sorry that you are going through this I have always believed that you can't take one coping strategy away without first building up another to take it's place. Telling someone to stop just adds so much more pressure.

If you can I really would suggest trying to tell your T what's going on and why you are struggling so much with this homework. There is so much more to it than just 'stop SI' and therapists should know that.

Just to be *fair* - I am a year deep into my DBT therapy. I am guessing she is getting sick of me not *progressing* enough.

Even with that it can take a lot of time to become comfortable with the new techniques and have them start to work. Progress will happen at your speed. People can prompt but ultimately it is what is best for you.

Try if you can to use those techniques and see how you go, but please don't be too hard on yourself if they aren't perfect. It takes time to build them up

What Distress tolerance & emotional regulation techniques have you learned in DBT to help you through this week?

Hmmm... I am sorry, I understand.

I am no expert at DBT, but most of them seem to come down to distraction & slowing down the emotions..... breathing, going to your mental "happy place". Muscle tense/relaxation. Write down pros and cons and analyze them. Stuff like that.