[CaptainKirk]

I stopped doing it back in September when I sort of got caught, but recently started again... I was supposed to tell people if I started again, but I didn't, and when my therapist asked about it I lied to her too, which I know doesn't help anything, but somehow it seemed rational at the time. I don't like hiding things and keeping secrets, but I don't know what else to do... Feeling guilty about it only makes it worse.

[Raging Quiet]

I hope you can get the strength to be honest with your t.

xx

[reesecups]

Yes, please tell your T. After the fact, they usually just want to know what caused it. To try to get you to be more self-aware of the triggers. It's a coping skill and I know it's hard to believe, but a good therp will understand that.

[falsememory7]

I know how you feel guilty about relapsing, and I think the first thing that you have to do is forgive yourself. Everybody makes mistakes - and I've relapsed before when I used to SI, so afraid to tell anybody, and the guilt eating me up inside... but afterwards I wound up admitting to my parents. I can't tell you who you should tell, and in some ways I'm not sure that it matters who, but if you can take a leap of faith and trust somebody enough, you telling somebody else would really help with this guilt in your heart. I'm so sorry that you're going through this, and feel free to message me if you ever want to talk about this more, or anything in general

[CaptainKirk]

Thank you so much for that... It's just that sometimes I feel like I don't want people to know because I don't want them to worry. I'd rather not be another problem they have to deal with...

Originally Posted by falsememory7

I know how you feel guilty about relapsing, and I think the first thing that you have to do is forgive yourself. Everybody makes mistakes - and I've relapsed before when I used to SI, so afraid to tell anybody, and the guilt eating me up inside... but afterwards I wound up admitting to my parents. I can't tell you who you should tell, and in some ways I'm not sure that it matters who, but if you can take a leap of faith and trust somebody enough, you telling somebody else would really help with this guilt in your heart. I'm so sorry that you're going through this, and feel free to message me if you ever want to talk about this more, or anything in general

[falsememory7]

Hey Captain, I really know how you feel it can really be difficult to be vulnerable and let other people in, which almost always results in them either judging us, or worrying about us. But, you're never a problem to deal with, and technically you've already told someone - us here at PC how do you feel now, knowing that you've admitted relapsing recently? (P.s. just hang in there, okay? I know that things are really bad now, and I wish that I could take all your pain away, but just hang in there until you see a better day)

[CaptainKirk]

Well, I feel better that I'm not keeping it to myself, but it's so conflicting because I want to tell everybody but I don't want anyone to know. But thank you so much...

Originally Posted by falsememory7

Hey Captain, I really know how you feel it can really be difficult to be vulnerable and let other people in, which almost always results in them either judging us, or worrying about us. But, you're never a problem to deal with, and technically you've already told someone - us here at PC how do you feel now, knowing that you've admitted relapsing recently? (P.s. just hang in there, okay? I know that things are really bad now, and I wish that I could take all your pain away, but just hang in there until you see a better day)

[falsememory7]

Ah, I really understand Well, I guess, just listen to yourself and don't push it too much. When you're ready to tell other people, then that would be the time. I think that if you don't rush yourself, then the perfect moment will come to tell someone that you know, and you'll know that it's the right thing sending you many hugs. you're so strong, captain. keeping holding on tight

[CaptainKirk]

Thank you so much for all that. I'll definitely try to do that. Hopefully I'll find someone to tell soon.

Originally Posted by falsememory7

Ah, I really understand Well, I guess, just listen to yourself and don't push it too much. When you're ready to tell other people, then that would be the time. I think that if you don't rush yourself, then the perfect moment will come to tell someone that you know, and you'll know that it's the right thing sending you many hugs. you're so strong, captain. keeping holding on tight

[smmath]

As of a few hours ago, I can really relate to you. Suffice to say I relapsed today, and will be seeing my therapist on thursday. I am not looking forward to telling her i did it a week after promising i would tell her i would. but, I think it would produce more information to help me in the future.

I also understand that you don't want to tell others you are hurting because then maybe you would be a burden on them. I tend to bottle up my struggles because I don't want to bring people down, or present them with issues that they aren't prepared to deal with. However, I think that talking about the emotions and not neccesarily the SI can be beneficial.

Sorry for not really having any tangible advice, but I wanted to let you know that you're not alone

[adam_k]

I would try to talk to your therapist about it. What you are feeling is guilt and that is a warning bell that we did something wrong. Ignoring that we can quickly go to being ashamed of it. It is a short leap from feeling ashamed you did something to feeling ashamed of yourself. I think talking about it can help you process it and get in a better place to deal with things in a positive way.

[CaptainKirk]

It does help to know you can relate. We can all get through this if we do it together...

Originally Posted by smmath

As of a few hours ago, I can really relate to you. Suffice to say I relapsed today, and will be seeing my therapist on thursday. I am not looking forward to telling her i did it a week after promising i would tell her i would. but, I think it would produce more information to help me in the future.

I also understand that you don't want to tell others you are hurting because then maybe you would be a burden on them. I tend to bottle up my struggles because I don't want to bring people down, or present them with issues that they aren't prepared to deal with. However, I think that talking about the emotions and not neccesarily the SI can be beneficial.

Sorry for not really having any tangible advice, but I wanted to let you know that you're not alone