[ickydog2006]

You say that everyone has their flaws and bad things they do and keep in secret and no one's is worse than anyone elses.

Then why will you never look at me the same way again and stare at me with this expression of pity with the look that says you're a freak and need to be fixed.

Sure, claim this is a safe zone and that secrets can be shared. I know that. I even know you won't tell anyone it's me who does "this thing". But your eyes say it everytime.

You don't understand and because of that it fits into this category of weird. So you stare at me like I'm weird cause what I did doesn't make sense to you.

Sure, you want to help. Then look at me the way you used to. Look at me like I'm a normal human being. Not some low life. Don't give me reason to fear telling others who might actually be able to help me. DOn't give me more reason to hide this or reason to feel more shame.

I want to open up. I want to warn others of the danger they get themselves into when they start SI. I want to let them know that it will get worse and how hard it is to quit. I want to warn others. Don't make me scared to do so.

I'm tired of being scared. I had quit being scared. Why did you have to bring the fear back.

[jacq10]

((((((((((((((((icky)))))))))))))))))

[bipolar_bear]

(((((((((((((((ickydog)))))))))))))))))))))))

[Rapunzel]

Those are powerful words! I am sorry that you have been hurt. We need more spokespeople who can say what you just said. It's scary though.

(((((((((hugs))))))))))

Rap

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( ickydog ))))))))

[ickydog2006]

thanks guys. I'm doing a bit better now. I got up the guts to tell someone else after we got into a talk about a speaker we had at the school. She seems really understanding and we both got some different perspectives on a wide variety of things. I'm really glad I talked to her about it before my fear drove me farther into seclusion.

Thanks for all the care and support. I really needed and appreciate it.