It has been ___ days since I SIed -- Part 2

If you were able to get him by phone perhaps you could ask him about what might help cope over the next week until you can see him.

Technically been 1 days since I cut, but I still picked off the scabs and reopened the cut today. I've cut every day since Friday, but don't care at this point.

hiddensecret, how are you doing? Have you slept at all?

I wanted to prove to my T I can care for myself (I see her this afternoon), so I just spent about 30 euros (22 pounds/35 dollars) on wound care stuff. Now is not only my leg hurting, but my wallet too..

AmyFed, do you pick as an alternative to cutting? Or is it something you just can't stop doing?

I think I had about an hour of broken sleep... I'm in the waiting room at the hospital now. Really don't want to be here but what's done is done. My T actually works in the same building and I'm hoping I don't bump into him... Don't really want him knowing even though I know he should.

I hope you'll sleep better this night..
In the hospital for the Minor Injuries unit?

Yep minor injuries. All sorted now

I'm glad.

Aren't we supposed to open a new thread after 100 pages?

I try different things now before I cut. Music, dancing, journaling, to name a few. In the past few weeks it's increased but I'm so stressed out that it's the only thing working for me right now.

Good of you to try other things first! I know how difficult that can be sometimes.

So I spent a lot of money on wound dressings etc to prove to my T I can care for myself.. didn't she ask about it (she asked about why I'd SIed etc, but not whether I was taking care of the wounds). And I didn't have the balls to just say it.
Now I feel stupid about spending so much money.

Taking care of my wounds was very important to me a stepping stone to recovery. Don't feel bad feel proud that you care enough to care. ((((((Breadfish))))))

Over two months.

I accidentally burnt my hand the other day, it hurt so much. All the time I was depressed I wanted to stick my hand into boiling oil, but a tiny little accident has made me realise all those thoughts have gone. I can't throw away my knife though, there is still a little bit of security in knowing where it is even though I never go looking for it.

Great job, TheOriginalMe!

Day 0 I guess, after nearly 5 months.

The coffeehouse must have put a shot of caffeine in my smoothie by mistake because my heart was still racing at 2 am. I found a way to relax in my bed. I reached for the packing tape dispenser and began scraping it along my forearm. It's still pretty red.

I wasn't even taking that crap that makes me feel so numb and self-loathing.

roboanxia, your 5 months is excellent and will always be yours. You can start another long period of being SI-free!

(((((roboanxia)))))

Thanks, Bill. Hugs.

I was imagining peeling my skin with a knife, but fortunately that was all I could find. I wasn't low or upset, so it must have been caffeine induced.

only 1.

still relatively hard for me, despite the fact I don't think I've really needed to do it the last few days.

do it anyway

1 week.

Just emailed my pdoc about the SI. I have an appointment with him tomorrow, but my mum comes in with me and I don't want her to know.
Pdoc replied, said he was glad I told him. I really have a great pdoc.

Could you email your pdoc saying that you want to leave your mom in the waiting room? I bet he could take control of the situation and ask her to wait and then come get her during the last half or at the end.

I'm well into adulthood and the ER doctors still forced me to say it in front of my dad who drove me there before admitting me.

Good luck!

I have a very hard time remembering dates..... but I think today is day seven..... but it may be day 14 - I really do not know.

Thanks for your suggestions. In this case they were not necessary (see below) but in the future it might.
I said in the email that if he wanted to talk about it tomorrow (=today), then not with my mother present. I also explained in the email what led to the SI, and that I'd already discussed it with my T. Evidently he thought that was enough.

That's awful! And raises the threshold of actually going to the ER when you need it..

It's been 1 day.