[lenjan]

I have been SI'ing quite a bit lately --- I hate that it works. I hate even more that it feels good. I beat myself up for being that twisted, that causing my own body pain can make me feel good -- that's about as disordered as it gets. But when I physically hurt myself, I can feel the emotional hurt washing away. It's such a relief that the more I cause the physical pain, the better I feel emotionally.

Have you ever tried describing this to someone who doesn't do it? I've been trying today and I feel like the world's biggest psycho. Hope the med change I started today works. Wish someone could straighten out my messed-up brain so that I could be just a normal, non-incredibly-sick-and-psycho person.

[Christina86]

You are NOT a psycho. Try to stop being so hard on yourself (yes, easier said than done and I'm a hypocrite) - self-injuring does help with emotional stuff. It's a coping mechanism, like it or not. Just not the healthiest one out there.

I have tried to explain it to people before, but only a few. I've been lucky, most of the people who figured it out or who I felt "safe" with telling, they already knew what it was. For some people though, I still haven't figured out how to explain my behaviour or motivation. Too hard.

(((((((((((((Candy)))))))))))))

ps. Sorry for being so harsh.

[bipolar_bear]

You are not psycho. It is a coping mechanism and yes it does help emotionally but it is only for a short while and as you say yourself not a healthy coping mechanism at that.

I think it is very hard for someone who has never SI to understand how good it can feel. I am not sure they can always see past the physical. Please try and be kind to yourself. Stay safe.

[Rapunzel]

((((((( Candy ))))))))

You are just trying to cope, and other coping methods haven't been developed yet to be strong enough for you to replace SI. Stress makes it hard, and there are people who can understand as well as those who don't understand.

Luv Ya,
Rap

[ickydog2006]

As basically everyone else has stated... you are NOT a psycho. I know it feels like that sometimes, but you really arn't.
I know how hard it is to explain to some people. And no matter what you say or do, some will never understand and chances are some will think you are psycho. But remember, just because they think that doesn't mean it is true.

I hope the meds help some

Hang in there

(((((((hugs)))))))

[jacq10]

(((((((((((((((((((((Candy)))))))))))))))))))))

You are NOT a psycho. This is just something that happens when you don't know what else to do ... something we do to help us deal with the stresses in our life.

Trying to explain to other people what we go through is very difficult, and unless they know someone, or have been in a similar position themselves its very hard for them to quite understand why. But try not and worry about other people, be easy on yourself, focus on what you can do for YOU and what you can do to make yourself feel better - emotionally that is.

Take good care, and know that we are here for you
Jacq

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( Candy ))))))))))))))))

Love,
Fuzzy

(((((((Candybear))))))))) I want to give you lots of hugs to let you know that you are NOT a psycho. I have scars from when I thought it made me feel better, too. I get along without doing it anymore 'cause I found other things to release the pain. You'll find those other things too. You have to try to do something else before cutting. Just give it 5 to 10 minutes before caving in-but you have to really try to get engrossed in whatever you choose. I use to like to get a pen and a notepad and write some really mean and nasty words on them about who or what I was feeling. I'd write it so hard I'd tear the page. I'd really get into it and go from page to page tearing into the paper. It felt good. I liked it. I would rip up all the pages really good and throw them away after I was finished and then I'd write in my journal-more calmly and with more in depth thought about where these feeling were coming from. That helped me but you may need to try something else-it's very personal so it's a find out by trial sort of thing. Just try something, anything, Candybear.
((((((((Candybear))))))))))))))))))