[Fuzzybear]

I'm back into a place where the only way to "cope" is to hurt myself physically. So far I only have scratches on my forehead and arms........ I look an absolute mess. As I have allergies my husband accepts it as part of that and knows that I scratch more when I am more stressed and depressed. I hate myself so much

I try to talk to my husband but he's too busy and I stress him out....... I can't do that it would "prove" how bad I am if I upset him.........

I'm sorry I'm not able to support people on the boards and probably won't be able to for some time.... I'm feeling as if my "hugs" etc aren't much or any use to people anyway.... and that isn't me fishing for compliments.........(if anyone misses me, probably not anyway.... and having posted that I know its depression, self pity or something similar talking, some people do like me, including my husband and he knows me better than anyone does including any T I have ever seen, although they saw parts/aspects of me that my husband hasn't fully seen or "understood".......oh well)....... I am barely surviving myself

I'm scared to post this but I'm posting it anyway.....I feel as if I'll explode/fall apart/shatter into tiny pieces with all the pain inside

To be honest, I wish I could die in my sleep tonight

[lenjan]

awwwwww ((((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))) sweet bear-friend, you have no idea how much your hugs help me. They always manage to be amazingly timely, and you're the only person here who ever thinks to give me any.

I wish I could take away the hurt, sweetie, but I don't know how.

I got paid today and I'm willing to spend it all on ice cream for a lengthy cave break, though!

Love, Candy

[jacq10]

((((((((((((((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry you are hurting like this It breaks my heart... If there is anything that i can ever do let me know ... I understand why you are taking a break, but just know that you have lots of people on here to do care about you and miss you just as much.

Jacq

[Rapunzel]

(((((((((((((( Fuzzy ))))))))))))))))

I am worried about you, bearfriend! I'm sorry I couldn't chat this morning. You weren't on when I got back.

I'd say please don't let this stuff get to you, but I know it isn't that easy. You are loved and cared about here, and I appreciate your hugs very much. It's nice to know that I have a friend here, who reads my posts and cares when I am struggling. And I care about you too.

I haven't heard about your effort to find a T in a while. Where are you with that? I wish that I could be more help to you, but I think the best thing I could do is to keep pushing you to find a professional near you who can help.

Take good care of my friend, Fuzzybear!

Love,
Rap

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( candy ))))))))))))))

((((((((((((( Jacq )))))))))))))))

((((((((((((( Rap ))))))))))))))))

Thanks for your replies! I get overwhelmed sometimes by self hate and other stuff... goes way back to childhood .......I'm changing meds again which might be contributing to this (I used to scratch myself to pieces every night when half asleep... bad memories).... I haven't scratched any more since I posted this so it helped in that sense...... Thanks for chatting Rap (I'll keep you updated re T stuff)

I appreciate you all more than you may know.....and my husband too, I'm determined to try to get better for him, I hate seeing him in pain



Love,
Fuzzy

[ickydog2006]

hang in there

I know this is hard but you are making some amazing steps just by seeking help.

I'm glad you got a chance to chat with Rap.

Hope things get a little better/easier soon.

(((((((((hugs))))))))

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Fuzzy))))))))))))))))))))))))) I have always loved your hugs. I am sorry that you are struggling so hard. I understand that you are trying so hard to find a way to cope with everything. Don't be so hard on yourself. You know how to find me and that I am here. Extra hugs. Stay safe.((((((((((((((((((((((((Fuzzy))))))))))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( ickydog )))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((( bipolar_bear ))))))))))))))

Thank you both!

[silver_queen]

((((((((((((((( Fuzzy )))))))))))))))))

I've only just seen this so I'm sorry about the late reply.

I'm glad you posted this Fuzzy.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I try to talk to my husband but he's too busy and I stress him out....... I can't do that it would "prove" how bad I am if I upset him.........

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
In some ways that is similar to me IRL but in my case it's more because I want to handle things on my own rather than share them, because I tend to think that other people won't understand... I am usually surprised, when I do finally actually tell them, that they are more understanding than I'd think they would be, and that they don't mind me telling them because they *want* to help me. Same with your husband. He didn't marry you because you're some kind of trophy for him. "For better, for worse" - he'd *want* tto try to help you. If he keeps brushing you off then maybe over the years he's got his priorities wrong and tries to look to his work before his wife. In this case then maybe it's time to remind him that he did marry you, after all, not his business. If he's stressed out by his work and doesn't want to listen to you, then stress that you *do* want him to listen to you. You should be the most important person in his life, not an afterthought.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I'm feeling as if my "hugs" etc aren't much or any use to people anyway

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Hugs are hugs, Fuzzy, and as long as they're genuine then people love to accept them! Whether you're completely exhausted or not, you've still taken the time to consider the hugged person and to actually post to them. Anybody will appreciate that, or they should do.

(((((((((((((((( Fuzzy )))))))))))))))))))

[Soidhonia]

Hello Fuzzy.
I am sorry you are not feeling well at this time. I hope you feel better soon. Possibly talking ot your therapist about your isolation will help you feel better and the therapist can help you to find a support system you can count on when you need to talk to someone about how you are feeling. Someone is generally in chat daily and you are more than welcome to come and share your feeling there. take care Soidhonia

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks so much (((((((((((((((( Silver )))))))))))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks for your support!! ((((((((((((((( Soidhonia )))))))))))))))

[Christina86]

Oh dear, I'm sorry I didn't come here sooner. Been a bit triggerish lately.

(((((((((((((Fuzzy))))))))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

Thank you hon ((((((((((((((((( Christina )))))))))))))))))

[nothemama8]

sending comfort food

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( Angie ))))))))))))))))

Love,
Fuzzy

[heartspace]

I hope you don't all wag your fingers at me for bumping this post, but I had to let Fuzzy know that my thoughts are with her during this particularly difficult time.

I hadn't been around for a whle, and was reading over some older threads. I felt compelled to post cuz Fuzzy has always been so warm and supportive of others.

Take care Fuzzy Bear and don't underestimate the healing power of those hugs of yours. They - and you - would be sorely missed if absent.

(((((Fuzzy))))

[Fuzzybear]

Thank you heartspace (I only just saw this)

((((((((((((( heartspace ))))))))))))))