[selfy]

as i look at the ceiling, in the living room under the quilt. im thinking back, to a time where life was safe, with me, in my room, curtains half closed so i could see the monitor. my linkin park cd blaring in my ear. on the screen is yet another website on self injury, describing yet more tips for stopping. i dont know why i am here, i know it will not work. they never do. my eyes occasionally drifting over to my left, scanning the metal pencil tin. my safety tin. full of the little blades on which i rely to keep me sane. zooming back to reality, i yearn for theose times, when i could do as i please. noone to stop me. now i wish i had never told any one. not my boyfriend, not my friends. i could have explained round it, i could.
i want to cut sooo bad! oh god what i would give! but i cant. it hurts not to but i cant let every one down. i want to go back, i was so SAFE! i was happy. id do anything, if only...
i dont know how unhealthy it is to want to go back to the nights of cutting to feel better, but i want to so bad. damn the more i think about it the worse it gets! this isnt healthy. why do i want to be like i was before? why cant i be like those normal, happy teenagers, worrying about their mock GCSEs and trivial stuff like that. instead of this crazy mess i am?
i dont knoew what to do....
im sorry every one,, buti have to get it off my chest somewhere. im sorry.

[Rebel_in_need999]

Don't be sorry.That's why we are all here for:to listen and support ypu.I understand how tempting it is but try not to cut yourself.Break things,cut anything else but try to resist and don't cut yourself.

(((((((((((selfharmer))))))))))))

Rebel.

((((((((((self))))))))))

u just have to keep trying
i think its more about finding another way to cope not just methods to stop cutting
using them together may help
seek pro advice on ways u could possibly cope better with what has happened
and remember we are always here

[mlpHolmes]

Self!!! It's Me!!! I saw your name (which always makes me smile!!) But I'm so sad you feeling so bad!!!! I want to PM you ok?

[Soidhonia]

Hello ((((((((((((SH)))))))))
I am sorry you are struggline at this time. I will be in chat today at 2 30 PM if you would like to chat . Take care SH. Soidhonia

[Christina86]

(((((((((((selfharmer))))))))))))

Hope you're feeling better today.

[snowflake_48888]

(((((self))))))))

Its okay to say what you said..that is what we are here for....to listen and encourage. I have always enjoyed talking with you in chat....you are great!!
Snowy

[Amalthea]

((((self harmer))))

I'm glad you were able to share that. You're stronger than you realize for not going back to the blades.