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#1
May 16, 2004, 09:45 PM
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it has been a few months since I posted in here, but these nightmares of cutting on myself are back and they are almost every night..
I have watned to keep it to myself, but I can not anylonger.. They are starting to scare me, for I actually felt the scare on my arm today  I wanted to scratch it, to make it real.. I wanted it to feel like it did in the dream. I have had a lot of stress in my life the last two weeks with finals.. and I do think that is what might be causing this to come to a head agian.. Or so I hope so.. I just wanted needed to post so I could get it off my chest persay. and hopefully have a night with out the nightmares tonite. Good night all my friends.  <font color=purple> The light is around me now I see it so clearly now I feel him in my heart Lord God has set me free. Let me rejoice in you Let me be free I love the lord God. I have been Saved by your Grace and love today...04/11/04
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#2
May 16, 2004, 11:05 PM
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((((Lady Dragus))))) I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. I'm also really glad you wrote about it. Finals made me nuts! So much so I couldn't finnish semesters. I finally just had to stop going. I so hope that when the semster is over that the nightmares will go away. One thing that helped me with school was to remind myself that my life and my safety are more important than anything. I also found talking with the professors, telling them I was having a hard time, really helped too. I was amazed at how reasonable and sensative they were. The other thing I used at one point to keep myself from hurting myself was to rip up newspapers, or do something that got out the tension I was feeling. What have you done in the past? You can get through this! you'll be in my thoughts! Take very good care of yourself. Annie
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#3
May 16, 2004, 11:28 PM
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Trish,
Are you currently in therapy? With these nightmares coming back and getting worse, it probably would help to talk to someone about it. I've had dreams like that too, but not to the extent that you are. It is a disturbing feeling to wake up and have all the sensations of having hurt yourself, especially when it takes a while to realize that it was just a dream and you really haven't done it. Any time you keep dreaming about something, or even notice a common theme in your dreams, I think it means that a part of you mind is trying to send you an important message, and you do need to find out what that message is and deal with it. I hope that you can sleep better and be free of the nightmares. Maybe being finished with finals will reduce the stress and help you to sleep better. I hope so. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Wendy <font color=orange>"If we are going to insist that people pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, we must ensure that they have boots."</font color=orange>
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“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg 
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#4
May 18, 2004, 06:56 AM
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((((((((((((((((((Trish))))))))))))))))))
Your fuzzy friend 
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#5
May 18, 2004, 04:09 PM
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actually, I normally play games online, or write, and this time I can not even write.. I did break down and tell my fiance and he held me why I cried on his shoulder last night till I feel asleep and held me till he knew I was asleep.. I did not have any knigtmares at all last night..
I felt so safe and secure in his arms I could fall asleep and not feel any stress, from any where.. so that helped more than anything.... <font color=purple> The light is around me now I see it so clearly now I feel him in my heart Lord God has set me free. Let me rejoice in you Let me be free I love the lord God. I have been Saved by your Grace and love today...04/11/04
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#6
May 18, 2004, 04:13 PM
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no I am not in therapy, for I have not had the money to go to one... yes I have medicade, but I just have not felt the need till this last week
but like I said above they are getting less, but still in my memory, I do know I need to get back in thearpy, and I do know I need it. But I have to find the time to get back to a thearpist, and I have to find one I like and one my pdoc can send me to. and one Medicade will pay for <font color=purple> The light is around me now I see it so clearly now I feel him in my heart Lord God has set me free. Let me rejoice in you Let me be free I love the lord God. I have been Saved by your Grace and love today...04/11/04
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#7
May 18, 2004, 05:10 PM
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(((((((((((Trish)))))))))))))
I am hoping for pleasant dreams for you tonight. Stay as strong as you are hun.  Heather
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Hugs Heather The secret of abundance is to stop focusing on what you do not have, and shift your consciousness to an appreciation for all that you are and all that you do have. ~~Dr. Wayne Dyer |
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#8
May 18, 2004, 08:56 PM
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I am trying this time..
But this time I am being open with bryon, he knows what is going on, and I am not hiding it from him.. Which is a big big step in my life.. I normally bottle every thing up in 3D and have a hard time talking to the ones who care about me out here.. <font color=purple> The light is around me now I see it so clearly now I feel him in my heart Lord God has set me free. Let me rejoice in you Let me be free I love the lord God. I have been Saved by your Grace and love today...04/11/04
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#9
May 18, 2004, 09:07 PM
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How awesome that you have your fiance! What a blessing! A man who can actually handle the tough stuff. I'm really glad you have him. I'm also glad you got to have a nightmare free night. I was wondering, is there any change that your engagement is triggering some stuff, especially since it sounds like you've broken through an old pattern and are really letting him in. It's great that you can do that. I hope you have more nightmare free nights!!! Annie
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#10
May 19, 2004, 12:11 AM
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Just a thought, for me, when I have nightmares, it is usually because my subconscious is getting ready to work on an issue. I have found that there is usually more to my nightmares than just the cutting. As my mind prepared to deal with my mother burning my hand on the gas range I had horrible nightmares of cutting and cutting beyond anything I had ever tried. Whatever I am working on now has lead to me clawing myself while I am asleep. It is frightening but it is just my mind trying to work out what I am not ready to face as yet. Try to be careful in those times when you feel the pull strongest but know even if you take a step back you stopped once and you can stop again. We are all only human and we fail sometimes no matter how hard we try. But we are not failures as long as we continue to try.
Dalila A bend in the road is not the end of the road ... unless you fail to make the turn. -- Anon
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dalila Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere. -Erma Bombeck |
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#11
May 19, 2004, 06:33 PM
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so do I.. so do I..
I took a nap today, and I had a really bad one.. I can still feel the blades in my hand and I can still feel the cuts on my legs.. ewwwwwww <font color=purple> The light is around me now I see it so clearly now I feel him in my heart Lord God has set me free. Let me rejoice in you Let me be free I love the lord God. I have been Saved by your Grace and love today...04/11/04
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#12
May 19, 2004, 06:37 PM
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thank you..
I will keep this in mind <font color=purple> The light is around me now I see it so clearly now I feel him in my heart Lord God has set me free. Let me rejoice in you Let me be free I love the lord God. I have been Saved by your Grace and love today...04/11/04
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#13
May 19, 2004, 09:31 PM
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((((((((((((((((((((4 Trish ))))))))))))))))))))))))) . . .Ben : )
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#14
May 19, 2004, 09:49 PM
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Thank you Dorian..
I need all the hugs you can give <font color=purple> The light is around me now I see it so clearly now I feel him in my heart Lord God has set me free. Let me rejoice in you Let me be free I love the lord God. I have been Saved by your Grace and love today...04/11/04
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