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#1
Jul 06, 2007, 12:27 PM
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i feel quite calm but very scared by how i am feeling.......i am ready to give up.
just give up trying, give up fighting, give up surviving, give up living. i have never felt so calm with the idea of just stopping it all. i feel like it time i just let the world go on, without me constantly whinging and moaning, without me wasting peoples time when they should be worrying about more important things, just without me whenever i have thought of ending it all before i have felt as though my head is spinning with a thousand different things, but today, it all seems to make sense to me i see it as my only way of getting away from all the hurt, all the pain, all the memories, and for once..........i am ok with it i have cut today, again, i was very calm and relaxed, which is a first for me with cutting. Usually i cut to release and relieve myself from hurt and pain and things i cant express, but today was different. i cut because i wanted to, and scarily, it felt so good. to imagine cutting a little deeper, or finding an ateiary was not hard. its scary how calm i feel i love you all so much Mad xoxox |
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#2
Jul 06, 2007, 03:04 PM
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i don't know what to say other than i know that calm. it's okay to embrace the calm but please, please never give up.
(((((mad)))))
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...you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. WtP |
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#3
Jul 06, 2007, 03:10 PM
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(((((madmusician))))))))
Do not give up. If you're feeling as horrible as comes across in this post, please consider getting help.
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#4
Jul 06, 2007, 03:22 PM
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i have spoken to my mental health team who are phoning me back later to check on me. I have told them exactly how i am feeling, and they said they will see if they can get me an emergency appt tomorrow with the psychiatrist. I have just gotten to the point where i cant do this any longer, and just want to give up.
sorry x |
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#5
Jul 06, 2007, 05:06 PM
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hi madmusican ~ i'm sorry to hear you are feeling poorly, but very happy to hear you called your mental health team! that's wonderful!!!! good for you!!!!
couple quick comments - first, you are not wasting people's time! i'm very glad you posted and i'm more than happy to listen and try to offer encouragement. and i noticed you have posted 116 times - i'm sure some of those were you trying to help others!!! and i'm sure they were thankful!!! second, i'm sure everyone posting here can relate to the calm you mention. it you can enjoy the calm feeling that's fine. just do not mistake that calm feeling for proof that giving up is the right answer!! that calm feeling is some chemical in your brain!!!! it's not an answer!!!! please continue posting - i'll be online lots this weekend! i hope you post again.
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I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies but not the madness of people. ~ Isaac Newton |
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#6
Jul 06, 2007, 09:37 PM
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(((((((((((((((((((((madmusican)))))))))))))))))))) I am glad you called your mental health team. Please don't give up. I understand how you feel but please don't give in to it. Please do what you need to stay safe. PM me if you like. Take care.
BB
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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