[prometheusunbound]

I feel myself spiraling down down down right now and I know I'm going to give in. I can hold out for only so long before I just can't care anymore and it's all I have. I don't know how to stop it. It's like not eating when you're hungry. Not drinking when you are thirsty. The longer you wait, the worse you feel, and if you don't give in eventually, then it will somehow end you.

I try to think about how past injuries still hurt. How I've bruised my arms and wrists so much in the past that the bones hurt when the weather changes and my hands cramp up when I write. I try to think about how much that frustrates me. But then I justify that I'm not going to do something lasting. Flesh wounds only. Or bruise somewhere that won't hit the bone. It's stupid. I know this. The whole thing is stupid. But I can't care anymore.

[di meliora]

Hello, prometheusunbound. Is professional help an option for you?

[prometheusunbound]

I do see a therapist once a week. I don't always divulge the extent of my self injury wants/behaviors, but he knows at least some about it. My problem today is that my mood seems to be crashing...this is the part where I feel most unstable...this is the part I seem to keep forgetting during those times when I feel normal... I'm mostly ok right now, but seem to be able to cry at the drop of a hat.

[puzzclar]

In the past when I have felt like you have felt, I tend to go towards distractions, and see if those help. I'll use them as long as they work. Imagine this, your mind is like a stage, only one thing can be on the stage, and if you keep the unwanted off the stage, the safer and more stable you can become. It's hard to do, but it can be done.

[prometheusunbound]

Distraction does help sometimes. But other times it doesn't seem like an option--stress mounts and the only way out from under it is to self injure. I managed to steer clear today, though. So there's that...

[puzzclar]

Have you learned ways to help with the stress?

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by prometheusunbound

Distraction does help sometimes. But other times it doesn't seem like an option--stress mounts and the only way out from under it is to self injure. I managed to steer clear today, though. So there's that...

Hi - sorry you have been having such a hard time right now.

I SI at times and my T is aware - we don't talk about it much, T will sometimes check with me about frequency / intensity, but I think this is just to gauge how I am doing with the work we are looking at.

I know that SI can be a quick relief (until the guilt sets in), but it is not the only way to deal with overwhelming emotions, maybe it is just the most familiar way for us and we know it works.

Are there other ways your T has explored with you of dealing with intense emotions?

Hope you keep safe - Soup

[smmath]

hi, i do it compulsively. do you think there's a chance you may have OCD when it comes to SIing?

i wish you all the best

[Sannah]

Hi Pro, I read your profile and some of your other posts. In one, you discuss how you are working on cognitive distortions with your T. Any chance you 2 can work on your feelings? This is what fuels SI urges - feelings. I also read about your issues with another website. Did you discuss what happened there this with your T?