Just when I thought I had myself figured out...

Cutting was always my thing. I couldn't see myself getting satisfaction from anything else. I wanted to see blood. And burns were always the worst kind of pain for me. I hated it and never wanted to do it intentionally. It was an annoying kind of pain.

Lately, my need to cut has peaked again, but for some reason, out of the blue, I've been eyeing up lighters. What the heck is wrong with me?! I know I hate that kind of pain more. It's different and doesn't even make me bleed. I don't understand why I want this. I still want to cut, but I guess now I want both.

Has anyone else wanted to try a different self harm method for no apparent reason? I like one and hate the other, so I don't understand why I'm getting these urges. I don't know how much longer I can hold myself back either.

Hello RoseTiger: Well... I'm no longer self-harming. (My circumstances are such that there's really not the opportunity... which is probably a good thing.) But back when I was, I tried out a whole lot of different things... some of them quite bizarre actually. I don't know why I did it. And I don't know where the urge comes from, or why.

When I think rationally about some of the things I did, it just doesn't make any sense. Yet I did them. And at the time, somehow, it all just didn't strike me as being all that warped. I presume it has something to do with "material" that is stored in areas of the brain to which we have no conscious access. At least that's my explanation for it. I don't know if talking with someone, a therapist presumably, would help to alleviate the "pressure" to self-harm you're experiencing. I never did that myself. Perhaps I should have.

Anyway... I hope you can find relief from the urges to self-harm you're struggling with. I know self-harm can become kind-of an addiction of sorts over time. I wish you well...

Currently struggling with the urge to start again after years of not cutting. Well, I do bang my head and hit my face but I don't really count that. Thing is, I don't want to start cutting again, I just don't think it will have the same release, and others around me will notice more easily than if I do something else. What I don't know. I'm in a dark place at the moment. On the waiting list for counselling.