mother is clueless!!!!! grrr

my mom just assumes that i will talk to her bout it all. bull. the whole reason i cut was because i was alone in this. i couldnt get out the bad stuff. and you know why??
coz she scares the living **** outta me. i am not going to tell mom i feel like dying or hurting myself, when i think she is gonna tell me that i am being silly or pervy (thankyou dad)that is the idea i get from my parents. i think they will say to stop being a stupid lazy idiot and do something else. well *newsflash*. i try my damn hardest. you think i would just sit there, think, oh i feel a little down i will go cut myself? bull. i get urges to hurt. that i CANT CONTROL OK?! and i try to stop them. i DO try to distract myself. i write i draw i talk to my friends. I JUST CANT TALK TO YOU!! ok is that too much to cope with?? for petes sake! just leave me alone! i cant talk to you. and you are not helping with your **** lectures! they make me feel like crap! ok? so shut up! &*% *&£*@ *random swear words*
ugh
im done now

(((((selfy)))))
i was just thinking about my mother and our 'relationship' esp when it comes to this sort of stuff, then I saw your post and understood it completely...I am visiting my family at Christmas (it will be summer here then) and am dreading it...no-one even knew that I SIed until I was hospitalised 3 yrs ago, and since then my mother thinks that we have an 'open, honest' relationship. But we don't. I have never been able to go to her for a hug let alone to talk about anything, so when she outright asks if I have SIed recently my response is always an outright lie...NO...but then at Christmas I am scared that she will see all the recent damage I have done to myself...
Anyway, what i think I am trying to say is that I understand your anger and frustration...I may not have it totally right but it sounds like you and your mum don't have a close relationship, made harder by the fact that she wants you to 'share' with her when that is often like a trigger and makes it worse, esp if she is so unsupportive...is that kinda how it is? Anyway, safe hugs and I hope that you can get rid of your anger and frustration safely...take care ok

(((selfy)))

Take gentle care. Keep trying.

I'm here for you if you need.

it sure is irishj. ty all for the support. (((((((((hugs)))))))))
mom just says the wrong thing. eep thats why i tell her nothing. take care all
self

I understand what you're saying, selfy. It's pretty much like that for me at home, too. My dad thought I was doing it through some kind of self-indulgent melodrama and that I needed more self-control. I don't talk to him about things for the same reason that you don't talk to your mum: I'd just be told to 'get on with it' or 'pull yourself together' or 'don't be such a moron' etc...

(((((((((((((((( selfy ))))))))))))))))

love you selfy!
i know how annoying it can be, remember that maybe a letter will work, and there might be some workshops on self harm for your parents to attend as well, so look into it

love you
xxxxxxxx

(((((((selfy)))))) I love you so much! I know how you feel, my mom is extremely difficult to deal with. Just try to be strong at a time like this. Don't forget about all the people on this site that care about you. :]

Hello (((SELFY))). Sometimes a parent just does not want their children to worry and they feel that just moving on is best and by not spending too much time concentrating on the problems then the problems will eventually go away. Unfortunately children these days need more input from their parents than just forget about the situation and move on, they need to feel that they have been validated in being heard and that someone is aware that they are suffering in some way and that they have someone on their side during their suffering. Perhaps if you even write a letter to your parents (you do not have to give it to your parents since obviously you feel you are Not going to get the response you need) but at least you can feel vindicated in expressing yourself and not being harmed through their negative responses, or responses that you feel are not validating enough for you to feel that they are aware of what is really going on in your life. In time in writing the letters then maybe you can feel more attentive in what your needs are that need to be met, and how to get the recognition you are needing at this time with your parents, even is it is just that you are able to express the pain and hurt you are feeling and that you were at lest not condemned for your feelings from your parents. Take care. (((Selfy))). Soidhonia .

(((((selfy)))))
just hoping things are a little better for you at the moment