How to Explain???

I'm just wondering how ppl explain their scars to others e.g. workmates, children etc. I hide my scars as much as I can but there are some that are very visible. I do not talk about my SI to anyone (hey, Monday was the 1st day I have ever talked about any of it with my T!). While I would love to tell ppl about it so that they can be aware I do not want my young daughters knowing the full story...yet...nor my work colleauges. So yeah, how do others cope with curiosity, questions etc...esp in the workplace???

no idea....but i want you to know i care...good luck...

love, inny

Not that I think it is the right thing to do...but...I lied. There was always some excuse and I made sure I came up with it after I SI'd and before I would see anyone. Preferably I would use something that would make a similar mark, a cat, a desk, a nail sticking out of a wall, a metal bar, I tripped, I fell down a set of stairs, I fell into blackberry bushes, better yet... I was picking blackberries, I was cutting something and slipped... if it was a realistic lie people believed me and sometimes even if it wasn't they would... they didn't want to believe the truth, even if deep down they knew it. As for your children though, it would be better if you didn't lie to them because if they find out you lied it can be really difficult to repair the relationship.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this right now.
Try to stay safe.

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

I have not thought about it yet. I am not working right now and have no kids. I wonder if people see the scares on my arms and think anything like (I wonder if that girl cuts her self?) I never worried about what people thought any way if they think that they do. If anyone ever asked I hope I would be strong enouh to tell the truth and maybe shed some light on the issue but that has not happened yet.

It varies with me. Sometimes I lie (and have used most of the ones icky posted), sometimes, if I'm feeling strong, I tell the truth and kind of dare people to deal with it. It's usually easier for all involved to lie, because people who don't do it don't usually really want to know the truth and what's behind it.

That works for adults, anyway. I don't know what to tell your kids. sorry

Take care and stay safe.

Candy

I have found that most people don't ask. that has been my experience. you will come accross the occational tackless person who will say something. it is not any of their business, so whatever you want to say is fine. i look at it like this...would you walk up to a guy who has pock marks all over his face because he once has bad acne and say "hey, what happened to your face?". people who ask have already developed a idea of what or why or how. i say screw them.

Agreed...

<font color="green">Sometimes people are not being rude they are just taken aback and ask out of concern, much like when you have been really ill and look like death warmed over and some says oh hon you look like you don't feel well. While you don't owe them an explanation you don't owe them rudeness either. Manner are a sign of respect - for yourself as well as the person to whom you are talking.

That said, I have told my kids simply I got hurt.</font>

I would say something "obvious" in as matter-of-fact a way as I could which doesn't "explain" (since it is not the other person's business) but which at least acknowledges a question/concern has been broached:

"Those are just old scars." (or "that is just an old scar") and shake your head slightly in a "no"/dismissive fashion. Use your body language (shrugging too) to help make the other person realize that they have asked about something you don't wish to talk about.

"Yes, I hurt awhile back." (maybe add, "but I'm fine right now"); "agreeing" with them that you see what they see should stop additional questions as those would be truly nosey.

"Nothing much" or "Nothing worth talking about" "Nothing I want to talk about" (in response to "What happened?") and then change the subject to/back to something more neutral and off of you.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
dalila said:
<font color="green">That said, I have told my kids simply I got hurt.</font>

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
<font color="#000088">I agree with dalila on how she handled what she told her kids. I think that was a good responce, she didn't lie, yet didn't give them too much information!
With strangers,I think where the scars are located kindof matters when they ask. If they are on your wrist, then me personally would think they were being nosey, and I would probably give them some type of sarcastic responce. Being that obviously they probably could already take a pretty good guess!

One person asked me once, and I could tell they already knew, by the looks they were giving me. So I told them that my wrist got ran over by my little brothers train set!

Some people are genuine, and some are nosey. Your kids are precious!
Best of luck with your decision on what to say! Trust your heart,it will guide you! </font>

thanks everyone for your replies.
luckily for me at the mo my kids have forgotten about the fact that I had a 'sore arm' recently and no longer ask me constantly to see it (not a problem while it was being dressed!!). So that situation has abated for now. But on Monday and Tuesday I was asked about scratches I have on my face. They have been there for at least 2 months but I have not been questioned about them before... all I said was that I had been scratching and they had gotten infected, pretty much the truth and accepted straight away.
I have taken on board everyone's advice, printed this page, and have filed it away for when I need it
thanks again

((((((((((((((( irishsj )))))))))))))))