[dalila]

I have been doing pretty well in not cutting or poking just some residual picking. However, today as I was preparing dinner I had to sharpen a knife. I slipped and stabbed my little finger. I had an awful time getting it to stop bleeding and as it is my left hand, typing is a bit challenging too. The weird thing was that I felt faint and slightly sick. As I think back that is common to me – if I cut cos I want to cut not a problem it seems to calm and center me. If I have an accident it is a whole different story, even so this was way more reaction than I am accustomed to experiencing. Is this a sign of healing or just more of my own personal weirdness?

[ghost]

i'd be curious to know what people say to this too... i fell and broke my foot a few months ago and i was screaming and in utter agony-- when just a little while prior to that i was punching walls and beating myself up. It's weird how when you induce the pain on yourself, you can tolerate it, but when it's an accident, unintended, and unexpected, it actually hurts.

maybe when you cut on purpose, you're mentally prepared with endorphins to deal with the pain, but accidents catch you by surprise and your nervous system takes over (is that parasympthathetic or sympathetic? hmm).

[SweetCrusader]

I'm the same way. In fact, I get sick at the sight of blood. Depending on the extent of the injury, I may even panic and hyperventilate. But if I cut myself, I don't.

The fact that you had a stronger reaction than what is normal for you may be a sign of improvement. I can't say I've heard or read anything about that, but it makes sense to me. I think the best person to determine that would be yourself. Do you feel like this is an indication of improvement? If so, congratulations to you!

I'm sorry you hurt your finger, and I'm sorry your reaction was less than fun! That kinda stuff wigs me out sometimes, too.

SweetCrusader

comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable

[Zenobia]

I have read that a self injurer will put themselves in a sort of altered state. I believe that is true. There is a series of steps that I take each time I self injure. The pattern is predictable and when I look at it from the outside it is almost ritualistic in progression.
Carrie

<font color=blue>If you have two dollars, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will feed your body and the flowers will feed your soul."--Arabic Saying