[jacq10]

About my SI?
As of right now I don't have a T. But to be honest, i'm not sure that I want to have one ... not here anyways. I've seen 2 different T's (last year) and I don't think it helped much.
Anyways, I've got a dr's appt on the 3rd and I'm going to ask her if i can go back on my AD's ... do you think that its important i tell her about this? I mean, would that effect what mg she would give me, or if she gave them to me at all? Part of me wants to tell her ... but another part is really scared to. Do you think my telling her will make her not want to give me anything and make me see a T?
I can't have another T that i don't connect with ... it will be too disappointing.
What do you think??
Any feed back is appreciated.
Thanks
Jacq

[splitimage]

I'd be honest with your Dr., after all that's the best way to get the help you need. But it will be important to be prepared to answer questions like:

How often you do it?
Have you ever needed medical attention as a result?
Do you have a therapist?
Are you trying to stop?
Have you thought about / are you suicidal?
How long have you been doing it?
Why do you do it?

These were some of the questions that my Dr. asked me when she found out about my SI.

Also keep in mind that not all Dr.'s are educated about SI - I was lucky mine was reasonably well informed - so you might get a negative reaction. Your Dr. might want to refer you to a therapist but remember it's always your choice whether you go or not - you can't be forced into therapy.

Good luck.

Splitimage

[old_one]

I think you should talk to your doctor, not just about the SI but about how you feel about the T's you have had and your experience with them. Just be honest and if the doc thinks you should see a T tell her why you don't want to.

Your doc may have some suggestions about counseling, T's she has had experience with that might fit you better, or alternatives to traditional therapy. Doctors can be very helpful if you give them enough information to work with.

[Perna]

If you "like" your doctor I would tell her so she can be most effective advising you. If she suggests a T, I would spill my heart there too and tell her I couldn't stand another like the last two that I don't connect with. If you have no one else to talk to, sometimes you have to talk to who you have right at the moment and hope for the best?

[jacq10]

Thank you all for your responses... I really appreciate your feedback. I think you're all right ... i probably should tell her. I mean she's the closest thing i have to someone i can talk about this with, and who knows, maybe she will be able to recommend me to someone who i'll connect with. I so need that connection right now, and I think it's about time I out and told someone who can actually help me with it.

BTW- Split Image, Lord of the Dance is one of my favourite hymns too. Do you know "I feel the winds of God today" because that one's my favourite

Thank you all again

[Kelly3]

This is awkward, because the right advice would be to tell your GP about it, and so on, but at the same time, i know that i wouldn't mention it to my GP if he asked me.
It sort of depends really. I'm really not 100% sure how to answer that.
I, personally, don't think much can come of it. the only way to stop self harming, is to do it off your own back. (that's my opinion anyway)
Maybe you're better off dealing with the issues causing it first. That should ensure you won't need to turn to the blade as often, and the attempts at stopping would be more successful.

tc, Kelly x

[Fuzzybear]

I'd tell her (my advice to you, not necessarily what I would do )

((((((((((((((( jacq )))))))))))))))

[jacq10]

Monday just keeps getting closer, and i'm already scared. How do i bring it up? What do I even say? (I get really uncomfortable talking about it, and most especially hate calling it "cutting" - it makes it seem so insignificant, and i'm really ashamed of myself...)

Any positive feedback would really help ... I truly need to do this, but i'm not entirely sure I can.

[splitimage]

First off take a deep breath and practice what you're going to say before you go. I'd keep it something totally factual like "sometimes I hurt myself, by cutting." or even just "sometimes I hurt myself."

It will be ok.

--splitimage

[jacq10]

Oh I don't know if i can be that blunt about it ... maybe i'll just open up with "I have negative coping strategies" and hope she asks me to go into further detail....

[Fuzzybear]

I'd say something like
"I have something I need to discuss but I'm very anxious and embarrassed (maybe pause) I have some negative coping strategies or behaviours. I have distressing and invasive thoughts of harming myself and sometimes I do harm myself.".... just a few ideas that might work if the doctor is any good. If you speak slowly and guage their reaction you can "halt" at any time if they seem unsympathetic or lacking in empathy And go onto the next doctor.....

Don't underplay your symptoms or emotional pain.... a big mistake I have made (ironically, for fear of being judged, heh )

Or you could write down the words and give it to them, I've done that once and did get a more positive reaction than the cuttingly (for want of a "better" word ...) misunderstanding and judging experience I had with the same doctor on the previous visit

I think someone posted somewhere that we learn good judgement from our bad judgements and mistakes, so true for me I wish you luck, I think most doctors will handle this professionally and be polite at least and try to help.... and refer you to a good therapist who you have a good chance of connecting with.

(((((((((((( jacq ))))))))))))

[Bellax3]

Hey. I understand how you feel. If I were in your place, I'd say something along the lines of-
"Theres something I think I should discuss with you, although I'm a tad apprehensive about it. I don't have good coping strageties, and I resort to self injury"
Saying "i hurt myself" would personally make me feel a lot more uncomfortable, I don't like the sound of it.
Alternitvly, depending on where your scars are, you could just say

"Lets say, my coping methods are less then extraordinarily amazing" and show the scars...

Good luck, I hope things work out well for you.
You're being really brave, a lot more then a lot of us are.
(Me especially)
If you don't connect with your next therapist, then keep searching until you find one that is right for you.
<3 Bella

[jacq10]

Oh you guys ((((((((( Fuzzy & Bellax ))))))))))
Thanks for your support ... you both have some good ideas that will definitely help me. And I think you're both right when saying that I should find a good T ... i know i should, and part of me just wants to connect with someone like that so badly, but i'm just so scared of getting hurt again. Maybe once i tell my dr she'll be able to point me in the right direction of a good T.
I wish i could somehow ease both of your pains as well ... I guess all we can do is just lean on each other.
& for you both
xoxox Jacq

[Kiya]

When i told mine last week ( I am DID/MPD so we were talking about that too), I just said "I am afraid of things that hurt me, but - this other part - does this" and showed her the scars. first she saw only three and looked for a moment like she would simply pass it on, so i moved the clothes so she could see more. She never changed her demeanor, but looked at them carefully and told me she was glad i had brought it up because she had thought something like this might be happening.

I didn't have any emotion when i told her, i didn't try to down play it. Just gave the bare facts and then answered her questions honestly about how often it is done, how long it has been going on, and if i had told my T.
Best of luck, Kiya

[jacq10]

Thank you for your support and good wishes
(((((((((Kiya)))))))))

[Bellax3]

(((((((Jacq)))))))))
Thanks
I wish you the absolute best of luck tomorrow.
I hope you make the right choice for you.
<3
Bella