Lent

I'm really glad that you talked to your Pdoc about them.

What helps or could help in dealing with them?

Actually acknowledging them helps. It sort of takes some of the power away from them. Reality testing. Doing something comforting or soothing. Changing my environment--like going for a walk if the hallucinations are on the walls. Journaling about them. Talking it through with my T but I won't see her until April 15. Praying. Getting distracted by something else that requires a lot of concentration like a puzzle or something. Making myself use the five senses (or several of them) to pay attention to my surroundings that I know are real. Things like that. So I do have some tools to combat them.

((((((((( SlumberKitty )))))))))
I’m thinking of you, my friend

I was supposed to see my therapist today but she had a family emergency and had to cancel. I haven't seen her since March 18th and now I'm not going to see her until May 6th. I want to SH right now. My emotions are all over the place and I want to cry. She had been pushing me last time to extend out my not SH-ing even after Lent. But now that I'm not going to see her until after that, I'm worried I'm going to relapse and I'm going to relapse spectacularly. I hadn't decided if I was going to push out my date of not SH-ing but now it's that much harder to. Kit

Oh dear that is unfortunate, no chance to see her until May 6th.

(((((Kit))))))

Maybe journaling or calling a listening line or using something online like 7 Cups could help?

Thanks Bill3.

So far I am not figuring out what it is I need to figure out this week. I'm working on deciding if I should push out my time on not SH-ing after Lent. Part of me wants to not commit to more time because I feel unwell, and I feel undone, and losing that coping mechanism, well, it's just not going to be productive if I don't have something to replace SH (and so far I don't). On the other hand, part of me wants to extend the time out because I feel like if I SH, I'm not going to be able to do just a little bit, I'm going to end up back at the hospital for stitches, and that's just embarrassing and expensive. But whenever I go for what I consider to be a long time without, when I do it, I DO IT. And it's like a big mess. With Lent, I felt like I was making a promise to God and that made it feel like a concrete thing. If I just promise myself or my T, it doesn't hold the same weight for me. My parents are going to be gone a few times in the upcoming months and I know that if I am able to SH, I will do it when they are gone, so that way they won't necessarily know that I went to the hospital (I have my own insurance through my work so I'm not on theirs). So that's another reason to extend it out. I wish I could have talked this through with T on Monday, but since she had to cancel, I'm talking it through with ya'll. I still haven't come to any sort of answer, or conclusion. I'm just trying to sort out my emotions and my logic and not run out of time before making a decision. HUGS Kit

Here are two possible ideas.

1. You could speak here or (or perhaps on another thread) about various options people use to substitute for SH. It is possible that a fruitful discussion could ensure, in which you make progress on finding a substitute.

2. Eastertide is a time of resurrection and new life. While Lent is/was a time to give up things such as SH, perhaps Eastertide is a time to embrace a new life with regard to SH.

You made a Lent promise to God, maybe you could also make an Easter promise to God. For example, you could promise God to extend until your next appointment with T on May 6. Perhaps pray about what sort (if any) of Easter promise to make to God?

Thanks Bill, you gave me some ideas to think about/pray about. HUGS Kit

I saw my T today. I was able to get in on a cancellation. I thought seeing my T would help me know whether or not to extend out my no SH until Pentecost. But it didn't. T didn't say. Most of me thinks I should but a little part of me thinks I shouldn't. That's the hopeless part of me. I need some encouragement to keep this up, please...thanks. hugs Kit

Keep on keeping on Kit!

You have done great so far and are doing great!



Most of you is on the right track!

Hang in there, one day at a time!

And: Congratulations on reaching your goal
of Easter! Super well done!

You can do more!



One day at a time!

Happy Easter!

Thanks Bill3....I needed that. Happy Easter to you also. Hugs Kit

I'm going to do this. I'm committing to No SH until Pentecost. I'm gonna need everyone's support, but together I think we can do this. Hugs Kit

You can do it!

One day at a time!

I wish that I had thought about doing that myself!

I gave up twilight series

It self harm

That is great advice! I wish that I had thought about that myself! I will keep that in mind!

Hang in there Kit! 😀

You are doing well!



Have a good day today!

Thanks Bill. Struggling a bit with SUI feelings which I know SH would eliminate, but I'm planning on sticking with my promise, even though it's hard. Just been praying to get through this time. HUGS Kit

Lent is over but I extended my promise to not SH until Pentecost. It's still a ways away. Right after Lent was over, I was really like, what did I do? Why did I make this promise? It's all going to be too hard, too much. It's been a little easier the past couple of days. I've had some urges. My cat scratched me when I picked her up and away from the dog food (she's diabetic so I really have to watch what she eats). And that was triggering because I wanted to cut after that. And for some reason, on Sunday mornings--the last time I cut was on a Sunday morning--I get a lot of urges. But I've been sticking with it. Mostly out of stubbornness I guess. I don't want to fail. I want to keep going. I'm trying to think beyond Pentecost, which I know my T will ask me, what happens after Pentecost? I'm not sure yet. I know to continue my progress, I'll have to make another promise because that seems to be the only thing that really works.

I still have a ways to get to Pentecost, so I'm trying to not get ahead of myself. After all, I may fail before then, though I hope not. Maybe I shouldn't be framing it as success or failure. But I don't know what else to frame it as. Either I make it, or I don't. Either I succeed at my goal or I fail. I feel like I am at a cross-roads. Either to push forward and try to make this a really big life change, or continue with what I'm doing, promising for a while, then going back to it, then promising for a while, then going back to it. It's really hard to not SH at times. It's like I can't think of other things when it's really bad. It's the physical thing that has been with me my whole life other than my faith. I think I'm grieving SH a little bit today. HUGS To all, Kit

You're doing amazing SlumberKitty! You've already succeeded and I hope you can continue. If using your faith and making a promise to a higher power gives you strength then use that. Use whatever tools you have. I hope as you go forward that it will become easier (it did for me). Cheering you on!

Do you find that you turn to God more, or differently, without SH or when faced with urges to SH?

Yeah, I used to just try to deal with everything myself, which I just made a huge mess of. But going to God when I want to SH really seems to be helping. I'm not alone in this struggle. Sometimes I can see God wanting to deliver me from this so I don't spend a lifetime stuck in the ravages of SH. I'm doing a lot more faithing Him. HUGS Kit

Hi Kit!

Just checking in, wondering how things are going, keeping you in my prayers. Hang in there!