[Christina86]

So I celebrated 300 days SI free on Monday (two days ago). My "anniversary" is February 20th. I just need to make it through Christmas with my family. (Which is how I screwed up last time because I got stressed out... I know I can't let them get to me this time, because I will *not* put up with their abuse)

So these past two weeks have been interesting. Another one of my friends knows now, and he's so proud of me that he put my anniversary in his cellphone so he'll know when it is and we can celebrate. Same as two other friends.

I haven't had a pair of scissors or knives in my possession since I let my friend take them over a month ago. He said if I asked for them, he'd give them back in January when I see him next. I haven't really asked. I really don't need them anymore... when they're just a temptation and not being used for a positive purpose, then why would I keep them?

Have been more stressed lately and the thought has crossed my mind... I admit it. But I deserve better. I am allowed to feel. I'm allowed to feel %#@&#!, and realize life sucks. But I can deal with it in other ways.

Holy crap. I didn't just write that!

So yes - good luck to everyone, stay strong. You can do it.

[bipolar_bear]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((canders))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) You are doing so awesome. It is great how you are learning self care. I am glad your friend is so supportive too. I can't wait for your anniversary.

BB

[Christina86]

((((((((((((((((BB)))))))))))))))) thank you!

[helpless_mommy]

Canders-
WOW 300 days! I can't wait till I get that far. Stay strong through Christmas. You are totally right, you do not deserve, not do you have to take their abuse. You are a strong person, as is seen in your 300 days. I'll keep you in my thoughts throughout the season.

[Rio_]

(((((canders))))) That's excellent, well done!

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( Christina )))))))))))))))

[splitimage]

((((Canders)))) 300 days is great. I'm sure you can make it through Christmas - just take lots of time outs for yourself if things get too stressful.

--splitimage

[GoodMama]

Canders! How proud you must be ... and for what it's worth, I'm proud of you, too! WTG!

I'm beginning to learn about SI from all of you and from my newest adopted adult daughter. I want to be a Good Mama but I'm still afraid I'll do or say the wrong thing. Surely there's more I can do than simply loving her unconditionally?

Oops! Sorry for the digression!

I hope you know how strong you are to have come this far? If SI is like a substance addiction, then the first couple of months had to be the hardest for you. But you made it thru those early days and the ... craving? If SI is like a substance addiction, then I can tell you from experience that it will be easier to stay away with each passing ... minute, day, month, year.

You CAN get thru the holidays ... stay strong, you deserve to love yourself!

[i]Trying to be a <i/> GoodMama

[Christina86]

(((((((((((helpless_mommy))))))))))))

Welcome to PC - and thanks.

[Christina86]

Thanks ((((((((((Rio)))))))))))) - you're great

[Christina86]

((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))

I miss you! Send me a PM sometime.

[Christina86]

Will try, thanks ((((((((((splitimage)))))))))))

[Christina86]

((((((((((((GoodMama)))))))))))) you're great.

Might I suggest just being there to talk? It's hard to step in and just take away someone's way "to cope" ... and they don't appreciate it much either. I hope things work out.

[jacq10]

(((((((((((Christina))))))))))
I miss hearing from you friend ....

[GoodMama]

Ahhhhh, shucks! Thank YOU, Canders! I'm far from Great ... I'm just trying to be Good right now and your insights, as well as everyone else's, are helping SO much.

Believe me, I'm not trying to step in and <u>replace</u> my daughter's way to cope with her pain. I am beginning to understand SI and the need to do something ... anything ... to be in control when the demons of her past come to visit. We talked for a long time last night and she was able make it thru without cutting. I am beyond proud of her ... she's working very hard and she's stronger than she knows. I just worry that I'll screw her up somehow. Say the wrong thing, ya know?

I pray that "just being there to talk" and loving her ... unconditionally ... are enough for now, and that I can learn to offer her more. Knowledge is Power. I hope?

Still ... trying to be a GoodMama

[Christina86]

((((((((((Jacq))))))))))))

Sorry I've been frazzled lately. Contact me via PM so I can reach ya over the holidays (if you want!)

[Christina86]

(((((((((GM)))))))))))))))

The only way you could screw up is by minimizing her emotional pain or saying that SIng is bad or something like that.

This looks like a good resource that I'd agree with:

Self Harm - What to Say, and What Not to Say/Do

Hope that helps