[Cthomas]

just one of those days where the need to do something is rampant. had a call from a family member recounting my "terrible childhood" and the fact that i ddnt have one. That shes shocked im semi normal.

Nice. Just feeling waaay crappy tonite.

help me get out?

Colleen

[Christina86]

(((((((((((Colleen)))))))))))))

Saw your post. Sorry she wasn't more considerate - sounds WAY out of line. How can I help?

Don't do anything you'll regret. You're better than that.

I care.

[Cthomas]

Dont know that theres anything you can do. I just wish shed have picked a different day? maybe it wouldnt make a difference. I just hate that she dredged up crap. crap i dont really feel like feeling right now. and i have no choice. I cant stop the feelings.

Im trying very hard right now. the husband just dont understand. he wont talk about it. So im kinda alone right now.
Colleen

PS. thanks.

[Christina86]

Alone in physical space, yeah. Otherwise, nope. You have me.

((((((((((Colleen))))))))))))

I know you don't like feeling stuff - neither do I. But you know you'll not like it after you've done it. Any strategies to deal with the feelings right now? or putting it off for 5-10 minutes and seeing how you feel then?

I care about you. I really do.

[Cthomas]

I went for a walk. and its very snowy here. thought the crisp air with no coat gloves hat, would help. nope. tried to sit and read. nope.......Im getting better. I just hate this overwhelming sense of will anything really get better. because right now it dont look good. I have good things that I can be happy about. but its not making me happy/ Ok im so not making sense right now. I know you care. and i appreciate that. I really do. I guess im a downer today.

Colleen

[Christina86]

you're never a downer. you're wonderful.

You make sense to me. I think things will get better... it's just right NOW that really sucks. For both of us.

Be good to yourself. Or try to anyways.

[Cthomas]

I hear ya....thanks chris.....youre pretty wonderful yourself. you know that?

I will be ok i think. thanks for the chat.

Colleen

[bchlyn]

i am so sorry colleen...i know how hard it is to have too much to handle at one time...lyn

[Kiya]

one thing i am supposed to work on (from T) is to imagine the ocean. How the waves can roll and tear back and forth... but go deep to the bottom where all is calm. There can be a hurricane on the top (our emotions) but if we can go deep to the center of ourselves, nothing can touch us there. The emotions (waves) can roll all they want, but we are down deep. We know they are there, but they do not touch the center, the calm. Let the waves pass - this too will pass.
Sincerely, kiya

[Cthomas]

Kiya, thank you my friend. thank you thank you thank you.

I am waiting to see my t as I type. sitting on my sidekick and saw your reply. had to thank you. I made it through another night. thanks to my PC friends.

My T will be pleased. Although all she asks is that I try. as does my mom.

IT helps.

Youre wonderful
Colleen

[Cthomas]

Lyn,

I know you havent been here long. but I feel as if you are becoming a great friend. what a wonderful person you are to check on me consistently. I love ya for that.

You are an amazing person. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. another day i made it through. I think im at 37 days now.

T will be pleased as will mom.

Take care my friend. about to see the T now.

Colleen

[bchlyn]

colleen... i am trying to get online when i can... i am still trying to help my son... i am so glad you made it another night...you are doing so well...
kiya... thank you for reminding me about the calm under the storm... the beach is my safe place...and right now i really need to emotionally go there...lyn

[Cthomas]

Lyn, let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

I appreciate you. as always.

Colleen

[Kiya]

((((((((((lyn, colleen)))))))))

hang in there you too.
Concerned, Kiya

[selfy]

*SENDS BIG SQUISHY HUGS TO ALL*

grrrr i really oughtta stop being so dumbbb
u no what i wish? i wish that i could borrow someone elses brain. one that doesnt think about it all day. erm. yeah grrr
*swears incoherantly*

im so annoyed. why am i having a bad time recently, theres nothing bad going on....

anyone else feel like that? like everything sucks, but theirs no fricking reason?
this is what upsets me the most. cuz i know i cut, but i dont know what exactly makes me get to the state where i want to. i no i use it when im anxious or selfhating, but,,,, why am i either, u no what i mean?

sincerely confused.

dot

[selfy]

sorry colleen kinda hijacked your thread my bad
((((((((((((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS TO COLLEEN))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

dot

[mlpHolmes]

Dear Selfy,
Exactly. Thanks for putting it into words.You are not alone.Distraction helps me, procastination works well too, you're a great person Selfy.

[bchlyn]

selfy... you know when i am in crisis (where i am right now) i don't usually si... it's when things start to calm... i don't know if it's because i have time to think, or if it's that i can "feel" but my danger time is when things are not as intense... i know that doesn't make sense... and i don't even know if that is where you are right now...lyn

[bchlyn]

colleen thank you for your kind words...everything right now is just really a mess... and i am having a really hard time coping with it all... i haven't si... and i usually don't during the crisis...i hope you are staying safe...lyn

[GoodMama]

(((((((Selfy))))))))

Thank you for an insight I hadn't seen before on the forums. As you all know, I came here to learn what I could so I can help my "adopted" daughter with her depression and SI ... and I've been wondering why the urge to SI comes at times when there doesn't seem to be anything really wrong happening. It seems like one small thing gets "stuck" in her brain, then she over-analyses it until it becomes a Big Thing and the urge to SI follows. Is that what happens to you, too?

I'm not trying to PRY, I hope you understand that? I am trying to figure out what triggers these urges and how to help when they get so overwhelming. So far, so good, and I'm happy that my daughter has been able to keep from cutting since she told me about it ... but surely there's more I could be doing to help, more than simply being here to talk to and trying to understand?

((((((((Selfy))))))))) I hope today is better for you! If there's anything I can do or any way I can help you, I'm here for <u>you</u>, too! Meanwhile, I'm still trying to be a

GoodMama