Trying and failing.

I'm trying so hard not to cut, and I keep failing. I want to so badly and I know I shouldn't, and that I'm letting myself down when I do. But then I get so guilty about everything, even the things which are out of my control, and I need to cut. I feel guilty for even making this topic. I think, who am I to need help? I should be more helpful to other people becuase I don't deserve to be cared about. All my problems in life are my fault, and I should be able to deal with it. And the voices, they tell me to do it, they egg me on, and it's getting so hard to ignore them when they're shouting at me. I've stopped taking my anti-psychotics becuase I know that they're really pills that are meant to brainwash me.

I'm sorry, I really don't deserve to say anything, but I need to do something other than think about it, and I'm really low on ability to cope right now.

Thanks.

You deserve to be supported and cared for. It sounds like you are trying your best and that is all anyone can ask of you. All of us need support at times and then there are times we support others. Maybe this is one of the former. Please talk to your pdoc about your meds.

BB