I've tried...but am failing

I've tried everything I know to pull myself up out of the depths of this depression and I'm still failing.
I realize antidepressants take time to work but this is rediculous!!!
Through the years I've worked with many people who suffer from mental illnesses and I must admit I have never truly known the depths of their dispair until now!
I think I've finally reached rock bottom and through all of my experiences I've absolutely no idea of how to help myself up out of this pit I am in.
I am still seeing the doctors who are monitoring my medications. However, I have yet to allow myself to enter into therapy. I have however, commited myself to attempting to build a new support system and I guess that's why I am here today.
I've suffered from depression throughout my life, yet I have never experienced this type of life altering dispair. My dr says I'm experiencing 'burn out' and need to allow myself time to heal. He is also concerned that I present with a severe case of PTSD that has been left unaddressed until now.
So, there is just a piece of my story. Maybe some how, someway I can regain enough confidence to share it in it's entirety.
Until then, does anyone have any suggestions on day to day coping with the feelings of being a failure...Thanks!...Alonian <font color="#000088"> </font>

(((((((((((((( Alonian ))))))))))))))))
I am sorry that you are feeling so much despair. My only advice is to take good care of yourself by pampering yourself when ever possible.

Failure can be one of life's greatest teachers, failure can refine us in ways that success cannot. failure is such an important part of being human! Whats critically important is that we not become so focused on the "failure" that we're unable to move on...(so we can waste a lot of time trying to un-scramble an egg) I sense your deep despair and perhaps it's well deserved but you sound as if you'd like to "feel better," to do this one thing is for sure...failure is never final until a person quits trying! also, please remember that failure is a courageous act! it takes a lot more strength to attempt something and fail than it does to attempt nothing and succeed! perhaps you will simply "get up one more time than than you are knocked down" Let this be your "rock bottom"...quit digging the hole that you feel as though you're stuck in and look around for the rope that you can use to climb out with! not tomorrow,not next week...but today!

if life were a football game, you are somewhere between opening kick-off and overtime... the game is still on, you havent failed... try to envision your future, healed self.. that person is now sending you kind and caring hopes and thoughts that you will find your way thru the labyrinth... and you will if you practice safe and healthy habits.... you are on a good course already and you've learned many lessons or you would never have made it this far.... hang on to the belief of future healed you and let that spirit become your guide...

((((((((alonian))))))))))))))))

It's really hard to understand depression unless you've suffered it as you say ...... the good thing is it is treatable .... please know this will pass, the severity of it .... tiny steps is what you take, sometimes it is hard to grasp the end of that rope, even to start looking for it ... but with proper help, medication and good advice you WILL get there ..... please keep reaching out here. You will realise who to trust and listen to and make some wonderful friends here who can offer really good advice. I wish you well and please take your time, don't feel pressured into anything, this illness needs proffessional help and a lot of self care ...... be kind to yourself sweetie.

Love, Jinnyann xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I realized when I was at my lowest that the only way to go was up! You'll get there, my dear, just try to be patient. I know it's hard, we all do! But, there's hope and you deserve the time and attention it'll take to get you back on top.

Thank you all for your support !
It has been an extremely difficult day thus far. My mood is at a critical low point yet I'm taking the day one moment at a time.
Trying to stay positive by staying busy. I've set minor goals for myself today attempting to simply take care of the 'me' aspects of daily living.
I saw my PCP this morning, he still advises I find a therapist. I'll consider his suggestion but I can not commit to following it at this time. My main priority right now is to continue with the medications and see how long it takes to regulate them. Entering into therapy is not a situation I will rush into doing.
Thank you again for the support...Alonian