[itsjustme111]

I cleaned my house to keep myself sane. I am still having a hard time; not harming myself. I keep trying to tell myself; YOur kids are here; stop this now. My frustration and anger with all of this is taking over my mind and my will to survive. Is this his way of still controlling me; keeping me ill. I cant blame it on him but he seemed to be somewhat sincere when he said he would get the kids early. What is he up to? I put my guard down with him once again; and got stung. I do this all the time; the hope that things will change. But will the violent, controlling man that I was once married to; change his behaviors. No, I am kidding myself. See what I mean; my doctor telling me to be cautious.
He has done this so many times; why the hell dont I learn?? I am to the point of giving up; throw up the white flag so to speak, but I am fighting it in my head; dont know how much longer I can keep this up.

justy

[itsjustme111]

I need help so bad. I am falling apart and cant pick up the pieces; cant stop crying anymore. God help me...............

[dalila]

Try telling yourself, "I am not gonna deal with that now, on Monday, I will deal it in the hospital." Not a cure but a strategy to get through with.

~D~

[itsjustme111]

Thank you; I am okay.

justy

[Leslie]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Justy))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Hang in there Justy, Hug your kids and pet your new dog. Keep posting.. We are here for you.

Love,
Leslie

[itsjustme111]

Thanks everyone. I will do that Leslie.

justy

[itsjustme111]

Thanks everyone. I will do that Leslie.

justy

[Zenobia]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Justy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} sorry I missed this before the server change came about. I am going through the same old thing too. When will it ever change? Will it ever change? What can I do to make it change for me so I won't be hurt again? We can't change them but we can change ourselves. It just gets so ***** tiring being the one who always has to adjust, always has to do the changing.
Carrie

<font color=blue>If you have two dollars, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will feed your body and the flowers will feed your soul."--Arabic Saying

[itsjustme111]

((Zenobia)); they u. I am really sorry to hear this. I feel the same way. It makes us wonder when things will get better or if they will always come and slap us in the face. I think what is most frustrating; we work hard and climb the "ladder", we are doing good; then bang we fall so hard that the ladder looks more like a beanstalk that never ends. I hear u dear and I hope u feel better soon. Please keep writing, I am here for u and I know others are here for us too.
Hang in there!!

justy