[daas619]

Currently self harming. Seems to be the only way I can feel. Gave me some sort of release but actually makes me want to do more.

[CANDC]

Hi @daas619 I am sorry that you do not get lasting relief from SH. Unfortunately that seems to be how escapes work, a quick release but then more craving for the release. That is how habitual behavior works in my experience - instant release and then longer time craving which is not satisfied by more of the same.

In my case I got help to deal with the habitual action and rather than indulge my craving I weaned myself off depending on it. I had to find new means of support like a support group

Hope you get the support you are hoping for.

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message and not the first word of your message]

[MuddyBoots]

Yeah, that's how it is with me. I can go a while without any physical self-injury, but if I start, I don't stop. It's NEVER enough.

Possible trigger:

I relapsed on December 22nd after not really having an issue since, I don't know, April? It was really bad, never wanted to stop (had passed out from substances first in all honesty). Had to get a bunch of stitches/steri strips/glue applied, a few days waiting in the ER to be transferred to spend a few days on a psych unit, and here I am 1/10/25 and any minute of boredom is just an intense desire to do something destructive and push even further.

Instant and very fleeting gratification at it's finest. I'd suggest doing whatever you can to do anything but sh. Even if you take ten cold showers a day or clean probably more than people would consider normal or whatever, it's putting more time between you and the act so you can unlearn it as a response to stress. As time goes on you can really hammer in some healthier responses if that's of interest.