How come??? Only if Safe

I still don't get it? Why do I want to hurt & scar myself up? It hurts like hell. Been doing it a long time over 25 years, yes you heard it right. As I get older the wounds do not heal as quickly.Oh well. Every Day is a battle. And I'm getting tired. One Day at a Time approach works well, distraction: doing other things is good, for a while - but what or when is the "Ah Ha Moment" or "Enlightenment" coming when the harmful thoughts & urges will END. My T said he's never had a patient work so hard in therapy. I want to get better!! If I knew what to do, I'd do it! Can somebody please help me??? Thank you so much.

Hey,

take it easy on yourself. You know after a while imho i think it becomes almost an addiction as well as a coping mechanism. I still have urges and im 77 days i think....dont even know right now.

You are doing well. its ok to feel this way. we all do. I still have urges after so many days - heck ive heard people a year out of it still having urges. its up to us to decide that we deserve better than si. You deserve better than si. maybe one day in a perfect world there wont be any? dunno but its a nice thought.

Be gentle to yourself. Smile today. Im here holding your hand and sending gentle hugs your way.

Colleen

Couple books mentioned in this Government article:

http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/ncmain/ncdo...self_harm.html

This one looks like it might be good?

http://www.amazon.com/Scarred-Soul-U.../dp/1572240792

My T said he's never had a patient work so hard in therapy. I want to get better!! If I knew what to do, I'd do it!

Take a deep breath! You're working hard in therapy ... your T said he's never had anyone work harder ... and you want to get better. I'd call that The Big Three! YOU'RE DOING IT! Honey, YOU'RE DOING IT! You're trying ... and trying is all anyone can ask. That your T praises you means you are getting stronger and stronger all the time! So, take a deep breath ... and pat yourself on the back for coming so far.

You're not on the Titanic ... you're cruisin' the Med on a big yacht!

Will there be an Aha Moment? I don't know. I hope so! For your sake and my daughter's, I hope and pray there will be. Until then, you're doing the right thing ... taking it a day at a time, or a minute at a time. Have you read the "Reasons Not to..." at the top of this forum section? Please do! I printed out a lot of them and every time my daughter gets those terrible urges, I read them to her. She's at 77 days today ... and talking helps. So does helping other people! (Hint! Hint!) You have a lot to share with others here.

Hang in there! You know you deserve to be happy. You know SI is an addiction. You know it gets harder and harder for the cuts to heal. Now you need to <u>remember</u> how much stronger you are NOW over 25 years ago! You CAN do it!

GoodMama

((((mlpHolmes)))))))