Normal release of emotions?

How do you release emotions normally? I don't think i've ever learnt how to deal with overwhelming emotions - even happiness if it is too much of it will make me SH.
Today something happened to make me feel like a failure. I've tried to allow myself a set time to come to terms with it, tried to think more positively, told myself to move forward as the past is out of my control but although i pretend it isn't there it is, just tucked away because it is too painful to look at. Distraction is the key but not the solution.

My objective here is not as much what to do to not SH but more that i think my SH will pretty much stop when i am able to deal with my emotions healthly and normally. I never make any sense do i!?

Any ideas would be welcome. Thank you in advance!

Laugh, cry, sing, yell, scream, write, talk to somebody. It's hard to learn, especially if you haven't been allowed to express emotions, or you were taught that how you feel is wrong. It seems like a gross oversimplification to even try to answer this question, because it often takes years of therapy to learn to deal with emotions. That is a hard question, and if we had the answer to that one, I'm not sure we would be here on this forum. Just take it a baby step at a time, then come back and do a little bit more as you are able.

Rap

thanks rapunzel for replying - i guess it is an harder question that i thought, funny how simple things can actually be totally complex!

"""Laugh, cry, sing, yell, scream, write, talk to somebody"""

Good ideas, i'm just awful at doing these so i may need some help. I can be a raging war inside my body but it never comes to the front (except with dep symptoms) so i appear very calm. My SH is usually never impulsive nor particually distructive through rage, it is usually consciously planned. You would think this would give me time to rethink but plans have to be carried out.

So with this feeling of failure. I obviously can't laugh about it, i could try and cry but i rarely cry so it feels unnatural, sing....lol i actually may try that one, just make sure its the right song! Yell/Scream.....at who? It seems so aggressive...My writing is always plain and never conveys anything true. I have lots of ppl i could talk to (i am thankful for this) but mostly i can't right now because a) they'll just say 'no you're not' and b) i'm deeply ashamed of being a failure, i don't want to keep revealing it.

Sorry rapunzel but could you show me my baby step that i need to take? I know you are dealing with so much right now yourself and the last thing i want to be is a nuscience!! Praying that everyday becomes easier and you have time to rest and realise how far you have come!

Hi Abby

I can't give you any advice as I havn't got a clue how to release emotions either, I just wanted to say, good luck to you on your venture, you sound very positive in that you know what you need to do to help yourself and it takes strength to find that.

Good luck

Abby, I'm sorry it took me a long time to get back here again. I've been avoiding this forum a lot because I can get triggered easily lately.

It really is hard to connect with our emotions. I disconnect with mine and it comes out as headaches and grinding my teeth and other stuff. I don't know what will work for you. One thing I am trying to do is to connect with other people as well as be aware of my own emotions. I think I could maybe learn from watching people who know how to release their emotions. Maybe if you watch a sad movie, or find music that resonates with what you feel, that could help you to connect. You have to feel your emotions before you can release them. Unfortunately if they are painful ones. But don't forget to feel any positive emotions you have too. They count just as much as the painful ones.

I completely understand that you sometimes need to avoid this forum, so please you really don't need to apologise. Just look after yourself for me!!

What you said is really interesting actually, i've never had any physical symptoms of my repressed emotions, which has often led me to wondering if they are real or not (all very confusing) but recently i've found when i'm stressed but concentrating i'm subconsiously biting my tongue. I only notice later when i relax my jaw and i realise my tongue is twice its size (well it feels like that!!) - all very odd.

I think what has happened is that i've taught myself not to release emotions almost to the point where i'm unable too. When i was younger i found showing emotion could lead to being hurt so i learnt not to - it was a defense mechanism. I think this why my SH can happen at times of any overwhelming emotion not just sadness.

At the moment there is something going on under the surface but i just seem to be 'getting on with it'. I think this has advantages and disadvantages, because although it keeps me going and generally not doing too much damage, it often reaches boiling point which is not fun.

Thank you for all your thoughts and ideas, if i have any improvements in connecting with anything i'll be sure to let you know! If only i was better with words, i think that may be the answer for me, but unfortunately my vocabulary is rather poor!

take care of yourself.

It took me a lot of years of therapy to be able to even name the emotions I was having, much less express them. I somatized everything so had a lot of back pain and neck and shoulder tightness. What helps me are two things. Music and writing. I have a huge and very eclectic collection of music some happy some sad, classical through punk rock and alternative. I put on music and just listenning to it lets me get in touch with my emotions enough to know how I'm feeling. I find writing about my feelings helps too, especially when they're really intense. I'll often do what I call free flow raging where I jsut write and don't worry about grammar or anything like that.

I use support boards too, PC and one other - that's specifically for self injury. I find It's a great place for me to explore my emotions and get feedback and express what I'm feeling.

Good luck to you.

--splitimage